


Romancing the Diamond

by rufferto



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arthur is a Secret Romance Novelist, Arthur is a control freak, Arthur is a worrier, Cross-dressing when he has to be his female author persona, Drama, Fluff, Gwen is his publicist, M/M, Merlin takes a while to buy a clue, Modern Day Fic, Pining Arthur, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur hates his job and is so far in the closet he may never get out. He is a secret Romance Novelist and Gwen is his publisher. He lives with Merlin his best friend who doesn't know his secret. He's also in love with Merlin who dates a lot of people, never him. He's so good at hiding his feelings from Merlin he's become a pro at it.<br/>When his latest Romance Novel hits the big time his secret is at risk of being discovered and there will be hell to pay especially since he works for his father who is in the Oil Business and is expected to take over that company.<br/>And the fact that said latest novel has a hero in it who suspiciously resembles Merlin and a subtle dedication that if Merlin read it, he might pick up on who the author is.<br/>Don't Own Merlin (BBC) not making any money<br/>Merlin doesn't read Romance Novels. Arthur is sure of that.<br/>Merlin is an event planner.<br/>Oh my gosh, Merlocked18 has done some fabulous artwork for this story! :):)<br/>I am so happy and pleased that this story has a lovely Artwork now! Thank you so much!! The original art can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/5208974 :):) Thank you!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur was tired, it had been a long day at work and all he wanted was peace and quiet. He was quite sure he wasn’t going to get that after reading a text from his flat mate, Merlin. Being roommates with Merlin was like repeatedly stabbing oneself in the eye on purpose. They had been friends for a very long time, ever since grade school and he supposed that he had a massive crush on his best friend just as long. Being roommates and best friends with Merlin for nearly 15 years meant that he knew every single up and down in Merlin’s life and he was always there to pick up the pieces. Merlin loved hard and was always ‘looking’ for that perfect someone. Merlin was openly bisexual whereas Arthur had never revealed that he was into men and women did nothing for him. He was firmly in the closet out of fear. He’d kept the secret so long he didn’t know how to live otherwise. His father didn’t care one way or the other, that wasn’t the problem. He didn’t want Merlin to know about his crush. That would be truly pathetic because he knew Merlin didn’t want him. It would ruin their friendship and he had to hang on to that because if he lost it, he might as well die.

So far most of Merlin’s relationships were fleeting. Sometimes if they didn’t get along with Arthur, Merlin would just cut it off fairly quickly. The hardest part was when someone stayed over. He’d learned how to handle that by putting on earphones and throwing himself into the only thing that made him happy. He had another secret he kept from the world. He was a writer of Historical Fantasy Romance novels and a best-selling author too. He did this part time because his real job was at his father’s Oil Company. A position he hated but was obliged to fill. He wrote under a pseudonym as a female persona. Autoria P King. He was rather proud of that name and so far he’d published ten books. It gave him money that his father didn’t know about which he was putting way for the time when he could quit his job and support himself as a full time writer.

His books were always dedicated to Merlin secretly, of course he’d never put Merlin’s name. It was the only way he could express his love so each book had a dedication cleverly disguised. He was fairly sure Merlin didn’t read Romance Novels so he’d never catch on. He’d never seen any of his books wind up in their apartment, except the copies he kept hidden. He wrote gay, hetero and lesbian romance and had been quoted by many as having a beautiful soul. The only person who knew who he was his editor, Gwen Carlyle and he’d made her sign a secrecy contract before allowing her to publish. He’d once gone to a book signing dressed as a woman so Autoria would have an image but only once. After that he’d refused all offers.

His latest book had been finished a week ago and was getting ready to be published. It was just in the editing phase. It was one of his best, he thought. _A Diamond in a Court of Thorns._ The hero was a young, gay poet who was just trying to survive in the middle ages when he finds himself caught up in events with historical figures during a time of turmoil. His hero: Joshua was tall and dark haired, most of his heroes were, Joshua foiled a plot to kill the King’s son but was never given any credit for it. He never sought any either. During all of his adventures in court he used his poetry and wits to survive. He would save the object of his affections a spoiled blonde Prince repeatedly throughout the novel until the Prince fell in love with him. It was sad and romantic and the poet almost dies in the Prince’s arms until the antidote for the poison worked. Arthur had written straight from the heart. He had been so agitated by the end of the book he almost didn’t send it in. He was contracted to complete two books a year so he had to but he’d wanted to keep this one close to his heart. The hero was too similar to Merlin.

So that’s why he was almost always tired. He worked full time and he secretly wrote part-time. He didn’t date that often and when he did it was only for sex. He never had a permanent girlfriend though many had tried. At 28 he was exactly where he wanted to be and when he walked through the door he would see Merlin’s smiling face and all would be right with the world.

He turned the key in the lock and opened it. There was a strange man sitting on the couch having coffee. He turned and smiled. He was … drop dead gorgeous and Arthur thought he might recognize him from somewhere.

“Hello,” The guy’s smile was friendly and sincere. “I’m Lance. You must be Arthur. Merlin’s in the shower.”

Lance. Arthur hung up his coat and deposited his keys as he looked around the flat, heard the shower running then looked back at Lance. He couldn’t shake the feeling he’d seen this man before. Heard of him. He didn’t look like the usual people Merlin brought home. Finally, he remembered his manners. “Sorry, yeah I’m Arthur. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, mate. It’s 8pm and you just got home from work, must be a hell of a job. There’s Chinese in the fridge if you’re hungry. Merlin and I ate earlier.” Lance was watching the news on telly. The News not some weird show. He was normal then.

Slowly it was starting to click. Of course. If he hadn’t been so tired he would have realized. This man, this man was on a lot of posters in Merlin’s room. He was Lance Knight, a popular openly gay singer who had a reputation for being honest and forthright with people. He didn’t do drugs or sleep around and he treated everyone and their dog like they were made of gold. He was basically just the perfect man. Merlin had mentioned he’d gone to a concert recently and met him, but Arthur hadn’t really listened that night.

“Oh…er…” Arthur swallowed. “Are you on a date or something? I can just go to my room.” He headed into the kitchen to get something to eat first.

“We’re about to head to mine.” Lance nodded. “I’ve got a gig in London and Merlin and I… ah there you are sunshine.” He smiled warmly as Merlin wandered out drying his hair and clad only in black jeans.

“Arthur, you’re home! How was work?” Merlin smiled widely at him.

Sunshine. Arthur tried not to clench his hand too tightly around the beer he’d just retrieved from the fridge. Familiar enough to have pet names already? This was dangerous. Merlin had been on about the man for years. He had all of Lance’s albums and went to most of his concerts if they were nearby. He wasn’t a fan boy in the sense that he actively tried to meet Lance so something must have happened by chance. “Work was brilliant as usual.” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Liar.” Merlin gave Arthur one of his impromptu hugs and wrapped his arms around him. Arthur had gotten used to handling these hugs and returned it. Merlin was just very touchy-freely and he’d learned how to accept and deal without becoming hard as a rock. He reached up and brushed at Arthur’s hair. “You give your notice yet?”

“You know I can’t.” Arthur was also used to the fingers in his hair. He’d developed a kind of armor against it. “Go on with your date, idiot. Nice to meet you Lance.” He waved at the man and broke the contact with Merlin.

“You work too hard, Arthur.” Merlin bit his lower lip. “I don’t want to come home one day and find you on the floor. Quit that damned job! It’s sucking the life out of you.”

“That won’t happen.” Arthur smirked and propelled Merlin out of the kitchen, “You, find a shirt, entertain your date. Sorry, Lance, he’s all yours.”

Merlin watched him walk away with food and beer to his room and sighed. “Good night, Arthur. Don’t wait up.” He found said shirt and wandered over to straddle Lance’s lap. “Now, where were we?”

Arthur closed his door before he’d have to listen to Merlin kiss Lance. This would be like all the others, it would be over in a few months. He’d deal with the aftermath and life would go on. Arthur sat heavily in his comfortable desk chair and stared at the ceiling. This was the life he’d chosen but why did it have to hurt so much? He closed his eyes and sighed. He’d looked forward to sitting on the couch tonight with Merlin and just watching some movie. Sometimes Merlin cuddled against him or rubbed his shoulders. Sometimes he would run his long fingers over Arthur’s skull and ease the tension out of his temples. He’d half hoped he’d get that tonight. It would have to wait. Two more books and he’d have enough money to quit the day job or at least scale it back to part-time.

The problem was his father was pressuring him to take position as VP and eventually take over the company. Right now he was just managing the sales department. He was good at it, but he hated it. He hated always smiling at people, talking them into buying into concepts and promoting agendas. One day he would be free of his father’s money and obligation. He’d been training a young man up to be his backup but he knew he would never have the courage to tell his father he was done. He had made a promise to his mother to look after Uther when she died and his word was very important to him.

Gwen texted him, “Read the manuscript. I’m crying now, damn you. This is so good.”

He phoned her. “Really? I just thought it was like my others.”

“No Arthur, this one’s different. This one is it. This is going to sell hard. People are going to want a series. There is so much emotion in this book. Are you alright?” Gwen was actually sniffling. She cleared her throat. “Sorry.”

“I’m fine, Gwen. Work’s been especially difficult this quarter.” Arthur said gently.

“And I’m telling you, the way you wrote the emotion it’s very real. People are going to want to meet you.”

“You know that’s impossible.” Arthur said, aghast.

“I bet they’re going to want to make it a movie. I’m just saying, be prepared. It’s huge, this one. It’s your best. It is the Steven King of Historical Romance Novels.” Gwen insisted.

“I’m sure your exaggerating.” Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I don’t want to be famous.”

“Then stop writing so well.” Gwen chuckled. “Oh, shite, I have to get going. Darling, I’ll meet you for lunch tomorrow and let you know what changes will be needed. Think you can get out of work for an hour?”

“Yeah. I’ve been training a backup.”

“Fantastic.”

Arthur hung up and popped open the beer. Well, he had put everything in his gut into that story. He hadn’t realized until he’d finished it just how much. He didn’t want to give up his privacy. Not yet. Gwen was exaggerating. Things weren’t going to get that crazy.

So he hoped, anyway. He drank, ate and watched a show by himself. It was 11:30 and Merlin wasn’t home so he gave up and realized that he wouldn’t be coming home that night. He was staying over at Lance’s. It didn’t do any good to think about what they were doing, of the things he couldn’t have, so he just pushed everything out of his head as usual and collapsed on his bed for the night.

Just another day in the life of Arthur Pendragon.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur woke to the sound of someone in the kitchen, he opened one eye.

Merlin had finally come home at some point and poked his head in bright and early. “Morning, Arthur. Fancy a cuppa?” He never did bother with knocking.

Arthur threw a pillow in his direction, irritated. “Bugger off and let me sleep, you intolerable git!”

“Cuppa it is then, I’ve got the kettle on.” Merlin dodged and of course knew what yes in Arthurspeak meant. He wandered into Arthur’s room and picked up his plate from the previous night and the empty bottles to get them ready to take out of the room. If he didn’t, Arthur never would and things would pile up. That’s what happens when you room with a man who grew up with servants waiting on him hand and foot. He flopped down on Arthur’s bed and leant back against his legs. “*I* had a fantastic night.” Merlin’s eyes twinkled and reached over to smack Arthur’s bum a couple of times. “Come on, up with you.”

Ugh. Arthur buried his face in the pillow. “Go away, you cheerful tart.”

“Don’t make me drag you off the bed.” Merlin warned.

Arthur sighed and sat up groggily.

Merlin wondered if Arthur had any idea how adorable he looked just after he woke up. If he just got himself a life he’d make some woman a wonderful husband if she could tolerate the slob. For as long as he’d known Arthur the man never had a steady relationship. Ever. “Your eyes are red.” He noticed and crawled up the bed. “Bloodshot, Christ, Arthur. How much sleep did you get?”

“Couple hours.” Arthur admitted with a shrug as he yawned. He’d woken up around two in the morning and written until five, it happened every now and then and usually when Merlin was out with someone.

Merlin searched his eyes. “What’s going on with you?” He demanded. The last few months Arthur had been working really hard and Merlin was worried. He’d also caught him up late many times typing on the computer. He hadn’t been sleeping well, either. “Come on, call work and tell him you’re not coming in today. They can manage one day without you.”

“What?” Arthur said incredulously.

Merlin snatched his phone from the table and typed in the code.

“Hey, how did you…”

Merlin gave him an exaggerated eye roll. He pulled down the contacts list and dialed the office. “Yes, this is Arthur’s phone and his flat mate Merlin. He’s sick and he’s not coming in today. He needs a day off. Oh you’re the bloke he’s training. Mordred. Right. Well, you take over for him today he’ll be back on Monday. Ta!” He put the phone down. “There, done, you’ve got the day off. Now, have a shower and get your arse to the couch.”

Arthur grunted and knew better than to try and argue with Merlin once his mind was made up. No, wait, he had a meeting with Gwen! He couldn’t take the day off. How could he tell Merlin that though? Merlin didn’t even know who Gwen was.

Merlin tossed the phone back to Arthur and carried his dishes out of the bedroom. He did pay less rent because he tended to do more of the cleaning up so it was fair at least. He prepped tea and listened to Arthur get into the shower and sighed. Lance had asked him about his ideas for the future, what he wanted and he knew Lance was looking for a permanent situation and Merlin couldn’t give him an answer. He couldn’t leave Arthur alone. The man didn’t know how to take care of himself and would work himself to death. At least this way Merlin could keep an eye on him.

 _You know you sound like his husband, Merlin._ Lance had said in jest when he had mentioned something about Arthur the previous night. Then this morning he had spoken very gently. _Why don’t you give me a call when you’ve got things sorted last night was fun, yeah? But I don’t think you want what I want._

The sad part was Merlin did. He wanted a permanent lasting relationship. Lance wanted a man he could come home to after a rough tour and he didn’t want to compete for attention and Merlin had made the mistake of talking too much about Arthur again. His straight flat mate. How long had they been living together? Since Uni second year when Arthur had asked him to share living space?

He prepared some breakfast and thought for a while about what he was doing. Pretty much everything a husband would do. Maybe that was why Arthur never really went out to find someone? He had Merlin. What did he need a wife for? Merlin scoffed at that notion. He’d never seen a hint from Arthur that he was even remotely interested physically. There was a time once, but that was before they began to live together and settled into a routine of how they treated each other.

Arthur walked out of the shower into the kitchen in his sweatpants as he dried his hair. “Something smells good.”

Merlin swallowed and forced his thoughts away. God. It was moments like these that were the death of him. He could never give this up. It was like a drug, his own secret addiction. Arthur without his shirt was the best thing ever. He had the most fantastic body, all muscular and shapely with a little padding here and there. Fighting fit and lightly tanned and today would be one of those days that Arthur would let him touch, he could feel it. “Apple spice muffins and honey butter.” Merlin grinned.

“How was your date?” Arthur asked as he picked a few and put them on a plate.

“Oh you know, same old.” Merlin shrugged. “I’ll call him or something.”

“Isn’t Lance an idol of yours?” Arthur wondered casually as he put things on a tray and wandered to the couch.

“Yeah but he came on too strong, asked for things I wasn’t ready for too quickly.” Merlin shook his head. “Isn’t going to work out, I don’t think, anyway.”

“I’m sorry, Merlin.” Arthur tried to be sympathetic but inside he was singing. Lance hadn’t worked out after all. He had Merlin for a while longer.

“Eh, easy come easy go.” Merlin shrugged cheerfully and followed him to the couch.

They ate in silence watching the morning news and if Merlin’s eyes strayed to watch the shadows and light play across that delicious muscular frame it wasn’t noticed. Eventually, Arthur shifted slightly as he tried to get comfortable.

“Muscles ache?” Merlin asked as he tried not to sound hopeful.

Arthur made a non-committal sound and nodded. He shifted and offered his back to Merlin.

Merlin was happy Arthur could never see his expression when he did this. God, it was a weird form of torture and every time he pushed it a little further to see how much he could get away with. How much he could touch as this was the thing he couldn’t give up and hadn’t found anyone that was worth giving this up for. Lance came close, but not yet.

Arthur had that fresh from the shower smell and his cologne was still lingering on his skin. His hair was all askew from the towel and he hadn’t bothered to comb it yet.

Merlin started at the base of Arthur’s neck, unsurprised by the tension he found there and worked his way down. They never talked about anything when he did this and it always stopped before it got too far. His hands roamed freely up and over and under those wonderful shoulder muscles, kneading and groping as Arthur made small sounds of pleasure every so often. As for Merlin he never failed to get aroused by this familiarity. His fingers thoroughly enjoyed themselves as they worked their way across pliant flesh. No one would ever understand their relationship, their need to be together even if they weren’t together. “Arthur, lean back against me a little.” Merlin directed gently. This was what he wanted to try. He never usually touched Arthur’s front, only the back. He put a couch pillow over his arousal so Arthur wouldn’t see that of course and would have something cushy to lie back against.

At first he thought Arthur wasn’t going to comply. He’d glanced back with a funny look in his eye. Eventually he scooted back and leaned the way Merlin had requested so that his head was practically resting in the crook of Merlin’s arm. His eyes were fixed on the telly though.

Merlin worked on the front of one shoulder and let his hands wander down a tight pectoral muscle to his target. A taut nipple. He’d dreamed of those nipples and longed to suck them between his lips. But this was as much as he dared. He slid his fingers just underneath and back up again so his thumb barely grazed the pink bud. He felt Arthur catch his breath but he didn’t pull away. That was a good sign so Merlin did the same thing with his other hand on the left side only this time he let his thumb rest on Arthur’s nipple and used his fingers to ‘massage’ underneath it.

“Merlin, what are you doing?” Arthur asked. He didn’t pull away, but the words were soft and tentative. “That doesn’t really feel like a massage.” His voice was slightly shaky. He knew exactly what it was, for Christ sake, he’d written these types of things in detail. That was a very deliberate come-on. Merlin had done the unthinkable and just hit on him.

“Do you want me to stop?” Merlin wondered casually, feigning innocence.

“ _Mer_ lin…” Arthur grunted and closed his eyes. “If you want to tell me something, just say it. I’m not going to know unless you tell me.” When Merlin didn’t immediately respond he sat up and scooted back to his side of the couch. For a long time they sat there, neither knowing what to say. Communication was a difficult thing and he and Merlin didn’t do it very well when it came to feelings.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” Merlin finally said in a small voice.

“Pfft.” Arthur snorted ungracefully. “I could never hate you, Merlin. I suppose I’m going to have to come out and ask it bluntly then because clearly you’re never going to admit it. Merlin, are you attracted to me?”

“I…” Merlin floundered for something to say. “We’ve been friends for too long, Arthur. Can we just pretend that didn’t happen? A momentary lapse of reason. It won’t happen again.”

Arthur breathed through his nose and clenched a fist. “Merlin, please. I can’t….”

That’s when his phone rang and a picture of Gwen appeared and Merlin stared at it in dismay. A beautiful girl was calling Arthur. A beautiful girl he didn’t know. Arthur had a girl. Arthur was straight, what had he been thinking! “I’m sorry.” Merlin tried to get up but Arthur reached over and grabbed his wrist.

“Sit down.” Arthur ordered. He picked up the phone. “Gwen.” He tried to keep irritation out of his tone.

“Hi Arthur, we still on for lunch today? I really can’t wait to print this.” Gwen’s cheerful voice did nothing to calm his mood.

“Yeah, noon is good, Gwen. I’ll meet you then.” Arthur nodded. “About an hour, right? Okay.” He hung up and saw Merlin’s miserable look. He realized just then he was still holding Merlin’s wrist but he had a feeling that as soon as he let it go Merlin would spring up and be gone to his room. “It’s not what you think, Merlin. She’s just a friend.”

“They’re all just friends.” Merlin glared at him. “Let me go.”

“Merlin.” Arthur grunted again. “I’m going to ask again. Are you attracted to me?”

“Yes.” Merlin blurted out, “Can I go now?”

Arthur let go of his wrist and opened his mouth to say something but Merlin had shot off the couch and was in his bedroom before he could get any words out.

Well, now he knew. The question now was what he was going to do about it. He had figured out the most important thing to know about one’s intended partner. Merlin _was_ attracted to him. There was no doubt about it now. He stood up and walked to Merlin’s door, then paused as he had an idea. He was a romance novelist. Merlin would never believe him now unless he did something to prove the feeling was mutual and he wasn’t just humoring him. He decided he would sleep for a couple of hours and then go meet Gwen.

When he came back he would begin his campaign to Romance Merlin.

It would also be a campaign to try and pull himself out of the closet. He had never admitted openly to this side of him. Merlin didn’t even know his secret profession. A quick tumble, a fleeting touch, a stolen kiss… no he didn’t want that. He did not want them to start with a fumbling kiss. Their first kiss was going to be epic and Merlin would know how deeply his feelings ran. He wanted Love. He didn’t want to be desired. He wanted to be loved. The kind of love he’d only dreamed or written about.

**TBC**

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >:)

Arthur had to admit that didn’t go well. Calling Merlin out on his lapse earlier that morning resulted in a completely awkward morning once he got up again. Merlin refused to even discuss it and just chatted amiably and dodged any fumbling attempt Arthur made at conversation. He didn’t even ask who Gwen was or for any further explanation. He just kept glancing at the time.

“You at least look better, less bags.” Merlin gestured at his eyes. “I told you that you needed the extra sleep. You don’t get enough of it.”

“I get by.” Arthur shrugged.

“That damned job is _killing_ you.” Merlin also seemed to grow unreasonably irritated as it got closer to the time that Arthur had promised to meet Gwen. “I wish you’d quit or at least cut your hours and do something _else_.”

“Like what?” Arthur raised an eyebrow as he finished off more tea. He rinsed out the cup and stacked it in the dishwasher.

“Something that makes you smile. Something that you’ll love. I’m afraid you’ll…” Merlin sniffled just then and held the back of his hand to his mouth to try and hide it.

“Merlin?” Arthur gave him a concerned look.

“Oh, fuck.” Merlin exhaled as his phone beeped and he gave Arthur a rueful smile. “Now that’s _my_ work.” He sighed and let it go to voicemail. “Listen, about earlier.” He smiled faintly. “I’m sorry I came on to you, it won’t happen again. I’m just really worried about you, Arthur.”

 _Won’t happen again._ We’ll see about that, Arthur thought. “I’m training the new guy, Merlin for the exact purpose of cutting back my hours there. I just haven’t gotten around to telling my father yet.”

“You haven’t had any fun in a long while, this is the first time you’ve actually had a date with someone in at least six months.”

“Merlin, it’s not a date.” Arthur sighed in exasperation. “Look, I’m not seeing her, okay?”

“Then who is she? I know all of your friends.” Merlin eyed him.

“She’s a … business associate.” Arthur floundered for the right answer and he knew Merlin could see right through him. It was sort of true.

“You’re lying to me.” Merlin scowled. “I have no idea why, but you’re lying.” He shoved at Arthur and glared.

Arthur sighed and not for the first time was tempted to just blurt everything out to Merlin. _By the way I’m gay too and I write very popular romance novels because I need to make my own money before I break the news to my father. I’m sorry I have never trusted you with this secret even after all these years of friendship. Please forgive me, I didn’t want to lose you and also… I love you and want to fuck you senseless._ No, no those types of confessions never end well. He knew, he wrote about it. He strove to try and think of something to say, something reasonable. “Actually, Merlin.” He looked away and back again. “She’s an Editor, it really is just business. We’ve been discussing jobs.” It was a white lie, but it was true and it would buy him some time, he rationalized. “She’s a friend of my sister’s.” That part was true, Gwen had been Morgana’s roommate in university.

Merlin’s expression immediately changed. “Really? Oh, Arthur!” He flung his arms around his flat mate and hugged him tightly. His smile was wide and happy as he looked up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. It won’t be for a while and she may find someone else before I’m able to actually stop working for my father.” Arthur loved it when Merlin clung to him. It electrified his senses and made him come alive. “But speaking of Gwen, I really need to get going.”

Merlin rested his head against Arthur’s. “I feel so much better now.” He exhaled. “You’re being proactive. I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry I reacted like an ass this morning. As I mentioned, momentary lapse.” He smiled and this time it wasn’t forced. “Go, I’ll go to the store and bring back food for us tonight to celebrate your eventual escape from the Oil Biz.”

Tonight. Arthur decided, he’d bring home wine. It was a good way to romance your love interest. He knew Merlin’s favorite type too so that was in his favor. He didn’t want to let go of Merlin. He sighed softly, “Merlin?”

“Yeah?” Merlin didn’t seem overly eager to break the contact either.

When he raised his eyes and Arthur caught his breath. Up close they were the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He brushed his knuckles against the younger man’s cheek and swallowed. Merlin was staring at him almost begging to be kissed. His lips were slightly parted and his breath came unevenly and Arthur never wanted anything so much in his entire life. “I have to go.” He dropped his hand. “Can we talk later?”

Merlin’s brows furrowed, “We always talk.” He shrugged as the contact between them was lost.

“I know, but there’s something I need to say and I want to do it properly.” Arthur exhaled. “I’ll bring wine, we’ll have food and…” He gestured vaguely with one hand. “Talk about…” He indicates the both of them. “This.”

Merlin didn’t seem to have any clue what to do with that. He just stared. “O-ookay.” His head reeled with thoughts of what Arthur might want to talk about. He’d quite possibly really fucked up earlier and anxiety twisted in his gut.

“To be clear.” Arthur smiled faintly as he put on his shoes. “I only bring wine for people I like.” He threw on his jacket and sunglasses, gave a half-grin and sauntered out.

That was not clear at all! Merlin glared at the door. Just what was the prat thinking? He paced back into the kitchen, then out again. Arthur’s mood today was different. Maybe it was because he was finally going to break free from being The Heir. The thought should make Merlin happy but that would mean that Arthur was moving towards being self-sufficient. He might not need Merlin anymore and if that was the case maybe that was what the ‘talk’ later was going to be about. What if Arthur was going to tell him he was moving out? What if… no. There was something in Arthur’s eyes, something he hadn’t seen before. Arthur hadn’t been repelled by him this morning.

_I only bring wine for people I like._

What did that even mean and where had he heard that line before? Merlin wrung his hands nervously. Arthur would be gone for about two hours, plenty of time to get to the store and back. He’d make sure he would get some things they both liked. Wait, this was not a bloody date. It was just two flat mates having a talk.

_There’s something I need to say and I want to do it properly._

_I only bring wine for people I like._

_People I like._

Was it possible or just wishful thinking? Was Arthur actually attracted to him? He had to find out! Maybe there was some sort of clue in his room? Merlin walked down the hallway and nudged Arthur’s door open. It wasn’t as if he’d never been in Arthur’s room. He was there plenty of times. He pushed it open all the way and looked around. Nothing was different. Everything was the same and there was not a single sign of a pending job change or pending move. He sighed and sat on the bed. Arthur’s laptop was shut down. He looked under the man’s bed and didn’t find anything abnormal except for the fact that there was no porn. Frustrated he heaved a long sigh and fell back on Arthur’s bed. That was when he spotted the shoebox up on the top shelf. He jumped up and reached for it and just as quickly stopped himself. The hell was he doing? He was invading Arthur’s privacy. There was nothing about Arthur he didn’t know but he’d never seen that shoebox before. It wasn’t going to explain anything.

No. He wasn’t going to look. He walked out of Arthur’s room, closed the door and took a few deep breaths. He had things to do. Like go to the store so he desperately tried to ignore the desire to go back and open the damn thing. Bloody hell. He turned around and strode back into Arthur’s room. Biting his lip he reached up and pulled the shoebox out. It was rather large for a shoebox, men’s shoes tended to be big. He swallowed and opened it.

_And stared._

Carefully wrapped in plastic was a wig. A long blonde wig, a bag of makeup and a pair of stylish very feminine looking horned rimmed glasses with delicate rhinestones on them and a necklace of pearls. Real pearls, he suspected, and long white gloves.

_Was he dreaming?_

Merlin opened his mouth and closed it. His eyes slid to Arthur’s closet and back to the shoebox. With a deep breath he carefully set the items back into place and replaced the shoebox where it was. He felt like he’d just been kicked in the gut.

If this was Arthur’s secret he sure was good at keeping it. He soon became unreasonably angry and strode to the closet to rummage through it. If there were outfits to match that box, he’d know. Tucked in the very back and hidden under a costume bag there were. Three of them, with shoes. Merlin frowned again and settled everything back where it had been. What was going on? He’d lived with Arthur a hell of a long time and never once seen the man dressed in drag. Never. He didn’t even look at women’s clothing in the mall and they’d been shopping loads of times.

This time he purposefully left the apartment to get away from the strange revelations. Maybe it was something from an old play? Or Halloween? But Arthur hated dressing up and he hated Halloween. The only time Merlin had ever been able to convince him to dress up was when he put on a Knight’s Outfit for one of the first times he organized an event.

Next time, he vowed. Next time he would leave well enough alone and let sleeping shoeboxes lie. Visions swam in his head of Arthur in the wig, wearing makeup. It would take a lot of alcohol to get those out of his head. He truly hoped Arthur was bringing the GOOD wine.

***

Arthur sat across from Gwen blissfully unaware that Merlin had uncovered one of his secrets. “You know I hate doing those things.” He crossed his arms petulantly. “Can’t they just send me books to sign?” He shifted. “Someday someone’s going to see past the disguise.”

“Arthur it’s in your contract. Once or twice a year and I know you already did one in the spring but this one is important. It will launch your new book and I already have the event location selected. I have a great feeling about this one. It’s your best, dear. Fans will want a sequel and a movie. Maybe even a tv series.” Gwen patted Arthur’s hand gently. “You do get paid for it and you know I’ll help you with the corset. You’re going to make a lot of money and as you can see I didn’t have to make that many changes.”

Arthur grunted. God if his father ever knew. “Alright fine, but I pick the weekend so it doesn’t interfere with my father’s company.”  
  
“It’s a deal. Now why don’t you tell me why you’re really upset?” Gwen gave him a soft smile as she always did. She had a soft spot for him, he knew. He was her favorite writer.

“It’s nothing.” Arthur shook his head. “My roommate broke up with another boyfriend. I thought for sure this one would work out.”

“And you haven’t swooped in… because?”

“I’m thinking about it, actually.” Arthur admitted with a sigh.

“Just thinking about it?”

“I realized if I didn’t do something he might actually get attached to one of these flings, and I’d never see him again.” Arthur confessed. “Gwen, what if he doesn’t love me?”

“After all that you’ve told me about him I seriously doubt he doesn’t.” Gwen snorted. “I’m proud of you. Now go home to him and talk to him. You might seriously consider telling him about your secret life, too if you want a relationship with him. For a romance novelist you’re crap at your own life, Arthur.”

“Real life is different!” Arthur whined.

“Secrets destroy people, Arthur. Don’t wait too long.” Gwen advised softly.

They spent another thirty minutes or two discussing particulars of the event and when Arthur left she dialed the planning company to provide them the information. The woman that answered, Freya was part of Avalon Events, quite a popular company in the area. They were hard to schedule and Gwen had had to finagle a great deal to get them.

Things were looking up nicely for Camelot Publishing House. Gwen grinned to herself. If they scored a TV series this would be a fabulous feather in their hats. She could hire Arthur as a full-time writer. She was almost 100% sure this book would hit the big time. Arthur had poured his soul into it. She’d cried so many times she’d gone through a whole box of tissues.

That man, he wielded a pen like a sword.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.:) It just makes me write more Merthur.

Merlin was nervously waiting in the kitchen for Arthur to return. It had taken him a little while to get all the ingredients he needed for dinner and he had made most of the preparations already, he’d just need to complete it later. As it happened, Arthur had taken an hour longer but finally he heard the key turn in the lock and blonde entered.

“Hey, I’m home.” Arthur called into the flat, deposited his keys and hung up his coat.

“Polo.” Merlin called from the kitchen.

“Ah.” Arthur smirked, kicked off his shoes and walked that way. He gestured the wine bottle at Merlin, “I come bearing gifts.” He set it down on the counter.

Merlin stood with his arms crossed in a corner of the kitchen as Arthur entered. “Arthur, I…” He gestured helplessly. He’d spent the whole afternoon going over everything in his head again and again and it was driving him crazy. He saw the bottle and realized it was his favorite. “Are you, are we? Um.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Are you gay, Arthur?” He’d never actually directly asked, he realized. Never once had Arthur said anything about his preference. When Merlin had come out to him he’d simply nodded and hadn’t looked surprised. He’d just accepted him and comforted him.

Arthur stood in place for a long moment and his jaw tensed.

“Because if you’re not, I don’t understand what’s happening here.” Merlin stumbled over the words. “Because something is happening. If you bloody deny it I swear to god, Arthur…If you’re gay and you haven’t said a word about it to me all these years...” Merlin sniffled, angry and a little hurt and confused. “Bloody say something, Arthur!”

“I’m…” Arthur closed his eyes. This wasn’t how he wanted this conversation to go. He was going to sit Merlin down and carefully try and explain everything over dinner. He felt like his voice was coming from somewhere far away when he saw the look in Merlin’s eyes. “I’m bi, but mostly I like men.”

“You bloody prat!” Merlin surged forward and slapped him. “Years, Arthur!” He shoved him hard and Arthur stumbled backwards out of the kitchen. “Years! Were you ever going to tell me?” He pushed him again. “Or was I just the poor confused idiot who you laughed at since University! YEARS. Bloody hell.” Merlin wiped angrily at the tears. “Oh my god, you’re not even out to anyone. Have you even been with a man? Fuck.” He shoved Arthur again and looked like he was about to hit him but Arthur grabbed his wrists this time.

“Stop it, Merlin!” Arthur held him in place. “And I’m not going to answer that. And…I just.” He gestured helplessly. “I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Hey…” He reached up to cup Merlin’s cheek and wipe away tears with his thumb. “I depend on our friendship, Merlin. Too much, maybe. Look that’s what I was going to tell you tonight. I didn’t even think you were interested but after this morning I knew you were.”

“You’re such an idiot!” Merlin tried shoving him again but was held fast. “Ever w-wondered why no one ever worked out?” He sniffled. “They weren’t you, and you.. I don’t know you!”

“You do know me!” Arthur cried. “Hey, hey look at me.” He smiled and tried to force Merlin to look his way. “Merlin… This isn’t what I wanted. Can you just… settle down please and hear me out.”

Merlin finally did and Arthur directed them both back to the couch… to where it all began that morning. There was too much he knew now, too much that didn’t make sense.

“You know my father.” Arthur began tentatively. “And the company and how he’s been berating me for years about getting married and having children. I stayed completely in the closet and it just became easier. If I had come out it would have been more complicated between us and at work.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I honestly really didn’t think you wanted me, you never went for people like me. So I thought it would be okay to just not complicate anything and let you do whatever you wanted to do. I know it was stupid.” He frowned. “I hated seeing you with other people but that was the life I had chosen. Until I was free from my father’s company I couldn’t be out and I wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge you so it wouldn’t have been fair to you.”

Merlin listened through his reasoning and grunted, “That’s bullshit Arthur. You haven’t done anything because you’re fucking terrified of being in the open. Of exposing yourself.” He sniffled. “I’ve known it for years. I tried to coax you out of your shell, you just keep putting layers on. And that wasn’t your decision to make, Arthur. That was up to me. Maybe I would have been fine with that, huh?” He gestured wildly.

“Merlin…” Arthur sighed and reached over to take one of his hands. “Let me-“ He didn’t know what to say. “Let me try.”

“Try what, Arthur?” Merlin raised his eyes.

“Try and ask you the right way. That’s what I was going to do tonight at dinner. I was going to tell you and then ask you on a date.” Arthur looked at him seriously.

Merlin couldn’t help it, he laughed. “You want to take me on a date?” The whole day was becoming one serial thing after another. “The man who doesn’t want to be openly seen dating a man?”  
  
“Look, I meant it when I said I was trying to get out from under Uther. I have a plan for that.” Arthur steeled his shoulders. “Merlin, the question now is do you want to be my friend or do you want to be with me? I’ll take either and happily, just don’t …don’t walk out of my life.”

Merlin twisted his fingers in his lap. He wasn’t unfamiliar with how much Arthur seemed to need his presence to exist but this? This was new and different. He’d never seen this look in Arthur’s eyes and it made him oddly sad. He thought about all the lost time and crazy night’s he’d spent with some random man to get Arthur out of his system when things became too heated. “Don’t be a git. I’d never walk out of your life.” He reached over and touched the collar of Arthur’s button down shirt. “You held this secret inside for so long. I want to be mad at you. I am mad at you.” He looked seriously at his friend. “But I’d cut off my right arm before I cut you out of my life. As far as dating.” He gave a dry chuckle. “I think we’ve done things a bit backwards here.” He reached up and traced Arthur’s cheek gently. “Generally the living together for years comes _after_ the dating and the sex.”

Arthur’s cheeks flushed slightly at the mention of sex. As long as Merlin wasn’t leaving. He gave a non-committal chuckle. He did have a point.

He smiled just then and when Arthur smiled at him it chased any doubts away. It was a wide perfect smile that reached his ears, his brilliant eyes shone and Merlin was lost. Arthur wasn’t a complicated man. He came at face value. He was sure there had to be a reasonable explanation for the drag in his closet and it was left over from some other time? Arthur was honest and hard working. He helped people when he could. He used his position in his father’s company to actually do things for the employees rather than just use them. If he didn’t hate his job so much, Merlin was sure that he’d be the best CEO in the history of CEOS. It just wasn’t Arthur. Arthur cared too much. He stopped for little old ladies, he opened doors and he bent down to pet puppies. With Arthur, Merlin knew what he was getting. He knew everything about the man. What he liked and hated, where he liked to go to relax. He knew the size of his boxers and what type of toothpaste he preferred. There was no mystery. He knew Arthur, and that was oddly compelling. He knew what to expect and didn’t have to perform. He kept stroking the other man’s jaw. “Yes, Arthur. I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Fantastic!” Arthur practically beamed. He leaned his head into Merlin’s hand. He felt a bit like an idiot just nuzzling against it but he didn’t care. It would work out. It was going to be fine. He would tell Merlin by the end of the month about the books once they had worked out their relationship and he could offer something more to him.

Merlin smiled at the boyish glee in Arthur’s eyes, he hadn’t seen that in years. He dared to venture further and stroked his hair. Arthur shifted and turned around to just curl up into him. It was odd, a big man like Arthur but he managed it anyway. “I need to make dinner.” Merlin reminded him.

“Later.” Arthur nestled against Merlin. They had cuddled a lot in the past but nothing quite as intimate as this. Arthur slipped his hand under Merlin’s shirt and rested his fingers against his waist and his head against his heart. “I just want you to hold me a while.”

Merlin’s heart thudded in his chest and he drew his arms around Arthur. There was something on TV but he was too distracted to watch that, too dazed by the whole afternoon. He could actually touch Arthur if he wanted to. He rested a hand on Arthur’s shoulder and continued to stroke his hair gently. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do but Arthur seemed to like the stroking, so he went with that.

He couldn’t wait for Arthur to get out from under Uther. He had so much potential. It was such a shame that he was stuck in those suits and that office all day. After a while, it was starting to get quite warm on the couch. Merlin leant down and kissed the top of his head. “I should really start some more dinner preparations.” It was taking a lot of his self-control not to take advantage of Arthur right then and there.

“Mmmmhmm.” Arthur murmured.

Their routine wasn’t going to change much and it really wasn’t a question of if they were going to have sex but when. Arthur wanted it to be perfect. He wanted to take Merlin out and have a lovely time with him and start to slowly work towards intimacy. He didn’t want to rush in. He had a writer’s soul and he wanted to feel it. He knew Romance was really just a lot of fanciful nonsense and real life was harder to feel. He sort of felt a little jealous of the characters in his novels. They had it easy, they always knew what to do or say to turn the object of their affections into jelly.

“That means you have to let me up, Arthur.” Merlin laughed softly.

Arthur raised his head and his lips pursed together in a pout.

Merlin felt his resolve to be a gentleman and take things at Arthur’s pace begin to crumble into jelly. That particular pout had been taunting him for way too many years. It was the mother of all pouts, the way his lower lip just jutted like that and Merlin could almost see his tongue. God what he wanted to do with that tongue! “’rthur…” he groaned out. “Stop that.”

Arthur reluctantly pulled off him, there was going to be a time and place for their first kiss and it wasn’t going to be an awkward mess on the couch. “Go make the mystery things you buy at the store edible.” He patted Merlin’s leg. “Anything I can help with?”

“They’re called groceries, Arthur. How about you set the table and do whatever Arthurs do before dinner and stay out of my kitchen.” Merlin muttered as he stood a bit too quickly and stalked away with a slight limp.

Arthur just grinned. He suspected he just figured out how to turn Merlin into jelly. Granted it was cheating a little since he’d known that his pout worked to get Merlin to agree to anything since forever. Still, it was good to know it could be used to entice… other reactions.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... I don't know where these things come from. I blame it on Arthur ...

Dinner was more intimate than Merlin ever remembered having with Arthur. Each ‘accidental’ touch lingered and his body thrummed with excitement. Arthur asked him about his day and the people he worked with as usual but there was something more honest in his words. There was a point when his hand linked with Arthur’s over the table and he couldn’t quite breathe from the intensity of the contact. It was so new and different. He didn’t have to hide his feelings anymore. It was exhilarating, and he felt light-headed by the end of it, though that could partly be because of his favorite wine and because he could now study Arthur directly.

“What are you thinking?” Arthur asked after they finished watching an episode of their favorite show. It was getting pretty late at this point.

“How I never noticed.” Merlin flushed slight as he gripped his wineglass.

“I didn’t want you to know.” Arthur gave a little shrug as he picked up their wine glasses to put them into the dishwasher. “I got good at hiding.” He looked back over his shoulder. “I don’t want to hide anymore, Merlin.” He smiled just then and Merlin stood up to follow him into the kitchen.

“Neither do I,” Merlin smiled. He walked over and invaded Arthur’s personal space as he usually did in the past. This time he reached up and rested his arms over his friend’s shoulders. Arthur tensed at the sudden intrusion, and relaxed easily. He tentatively drew his arms around Merlin and buried his face in the other’s neck. “I really want to kiss you.” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s hair. He ran his fingers across Arthur’s strong shoulders and bunched them into the fabric of his shirt.

“Not yet.” Arthur shook his head and felt his body protest at the reluctance for more of Merlin. “I really want to do this right, Merlin.” He hugged him tightly. “You deserve that from me.”

“You’re so damn noble.” Merlin rasped and giggled nervously.

“How about I walk you to your door after such a delightful dinner?” Arthur asked with a chivalrous bow.

“The one just down the hall?” Merlin smiled widely.

“Shh, I’m being charming.” Arthur offered his arm. He had to admit that he was a trifle buzzed from the wine and being silly often helped to deflect his nerves around Merlin.

Merlin stared at him and couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re adorable.” He took said arm anyway and allowed Arthur to walk him to his door.

Two or three steps later.

“This is me.” Merlin rested against the back of his door and looked at Arthur expectantly. “See, you got me home safe.”

Arthur reached up to brush the hair out of Merlin’s eyes. “Gotta make sure you’re safe since you’re a magnet for unscrupulous types, Merlin. People always wanting to get into your pants.”

“Speaking for yourself, Arthur?”

“Pfft, I’ve got self-control down to a fine art, Merlin.”

“Hm, well we’ll see how long that lasts now that I know your secret.” Merlin traced a little circle on Arthur’s shoulder.

Arthur laughed and captured Merlin’s hand. “You.” He kissed the palm of it and drew both of his hands together under his to squeeze them tightly. “Good night, Merlin.” He kissed both of them and let him go.

Merlin slipped into his room and dropped into his chair. He had no idea how Arthur did it with the self-control. His was practically out the window. He was five seconds from storming Arthur’s bedroom until he got a text message from him.

==“Sweet Dreams” Xoxo

Dreams. Oh god, there would be dreams.

Merlin stripped and fell into his bed. He couldn’t believe the whole day had actually happened. Not only had he found out that Arthur was bisexual, but he had also learned Arthur liked him. He actually wanted him. It was a small miracle. In the old days he’d fantasized about it but soon put that sleeping bear to lie. He’d tried his best to just be Arthur’s friend and it had worked because he wanted his friendship badly and there was no shortage of people who were willing to fill the position of Merlin’s lover.

He grinned at his phone and texted back.

==”I’m lying naked in my bed, YOU have sweet dreams.”

A minute later, the phone chirped.

== “Good night, Merlin.”

“Spoilsport!” Merlin called out. He knew Arthur could hear him. There was a muffled laugh from the other side of the hall and he grinned stupidly and turned off his bedside light.

***

On Saturday mornings Arthur had amateur footie practice and Merlin worked. His job usually ensured that he would work on the days that people liked to plan events. Merlin worked for a top notch event planning company called Avalon Events and his boss Freya was cool to work with but quite demanding at times. Merlin was excellent at his job and often the one she called for extremely difficult situations.

“Good morning Merlin!” Freya chirped happily. “You look very pleased with yourself.”

Merlin gave her a blindingly brilliant smile. “I had an awesome night.”

“Oh ho. New beau?”

“Not exactly. I’ll tell you when I know where it’s heading.” Merlin’s eyes shone as he checked out the new clients. “Camelot Publishing House?” He picked up the thickest folder. “We actually got them as a client?”

“Oh yes.” Freya nodded, she was high on her first cup of coffee “The editor called last night and I put together a file for you. We’re going to host a book signing for one of their top authors.”

“Oh really? Anyone I know?” Merlin wondered.

“AP King. She writes the most delicious historical romances. I swear to god, Merlin that woman sends chills down my spine when I read them.” Freya tossed Merlin the dry board pens as he set it up to start his planning routine.

“Romance novels?” Merlin laughed. “You mean woman meets man and falls for him and shenanigans happen, they squabble and then eventually have hot sex?”

“Oh, not quite.” Freya winked at him. “Ms King writes far more dramatic plotlines. She wrote one book recently. It’s one of my favorites and it’s called The Lyander Blades. She wrote it from the point of view of the villain who is quite a scrumptious rascal by the name of Captain Reginald James. It’s a tragedy, I’ll warn you now, quite heartbreaking and the young hero is his main target.”

“Hero?” Merlin’s eyebrows climbed. “Usually it’s a heroine.”

“Oh…” Freya dimpled and grinned widely again at him. “Ms King writes stories that also include ahem, not so heterosexually dominant plotlines.”

“What?” Merlin blinked.

“Oh for god sake, Merlin. Her writing includes gay romance. Scenes with hot sex between men, yeah?”

“That’s a thing?” Merlin looked incredulous.

“Yes, Merlin, it’s a thing.” Freya spread her arms wide in disbelief. “Anyway. The Event is in two weeks. Check out the folder and let me know if you can swing it or if they’ve got too many demands. Apparently the author is something of an ass in real life and is extremely particular about these things. She refuses photo-ops, for one thing. Very strange. She doesn’t like publicity and is only doing this because it’s part of the contract she has. You have some rules we have to agree to. The contract is in the folder.”

Merlin spent most of the day pouring over the contract and joking with Freya bout all the ridiculous request from the apparent prat of an author. “She sounds like a nightmare.”

“Well she’s your nightmare, they’re going to pay us a lot of money.” Freya grinned.

“I can handle Prats, I live with one.” Merlin grinned back.

“Speaking of Prats, how is Arthur?” Freya asked casually.

“He’s…good.” Merlin blushed.

“And Lance?”

“History.” Merlin gave a wave of a hand. “He wanted too much too soon. House, dog, cat, you know…whole nine yards. He even talked about adopting kids. I was not expecting that from a rock star.”

“Oh, Merlin.” Freya gave him a compassionate smile. “I think you want something like that too, don’t you? Not quite like that but you do want it.”

“I have Arthur.” Merlin said without thinking. “Oh I mean….” He flushed again. “He’s always there if nothing works out.”

“Uh huh. Merlin, you need to find someone who will treat you like gold because that is what you deserve.” Freya told him. She was apparently taking all the romance novelist news to heart and feeling the vibe.

Merlin rolled his eyes, “I’m just picky.” It was time to head home and get ready for his first date with Arthur. Not that he was going to tell her that.

***

Practice went well and it gave Arthur a chance to take out some frustration. Arthur’s father had called earlier that morning and gave him hell for missing a day of work. Mordred had apparently messed up some numbers and caused a problem that one of his busy managers had to solve. He’d had to spend time later that afternoon at the office and missing out on valuable writing time. Saturday afternoon was a time he spent writing since Merlin was usually working.

He was just finishing getting ready when he heard Merlin come home.

“Hey… welcome—home.” It was hard to miss the stack of books on the front hall table that Merlin set down.

“Arthur!” Merlin grinned at him. “Sorry I’m home a little late. I had to stop at the bookstore. New client, doing a bit of research.”

Arthur’s face must have looked ashen because Merlin got a concerned look.

“What’s wrong?” Merlin approached him. “You okay?”

“Er yeah.” Arthur closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. “Welcome home.” On that table was every book he had written. “Client?” He tried to keep the anxiety out of his tone.

“Camelot Publishing House, one of their authors is having a book signing and Freya put me in charge of the event. It’s a huge deal and I’m getting a very large commission from it. Three times what I usually make. Author is apparently some kind of rich primadonna so I’m going to do some research and make sure I can impress her.” Merlin couldn’t resist giving him a peck on the cheek. “Let me jump in the shower and change and I’ll be ready for you.”

_Oh God._

Arthur felt his heart pounding in his ears and he wanted to take the stack of books and toss them in a dumpster. He wasn’t ready for this. He clenched and un-clenched his fists as he tried hard to think of something, anything to say. “Okay.” He managed weakly. He’d figure something out. He could just cancel the appearance! But then Merlin wouldn’t get paid. Maybe he could get someone to take his place? Someone who knew how to write his signature? The only person who could do that was his sister Morgana. Gwen would kill him and Merlin would immediately recognize him. He felt his body start to hyperventilate and he steadied himself against the wall.

_Merlin couldn’t find out. Not yet._

Somehow he’d figure out how to stop him from realizing who AP King was. He was just not ready. He’d had a perfectly sound plan. He was going to tell Merlin at the end of the month properly. Once the novel was out and selling and Mordred was ready to take his place at his father’s company.

He sent a quick text off to his sister asking her when she was available for lunch. If anyone could help him she would. She was the only person in his family who knew about the novels. He and Morgana were very close and would pretty much do anything for each other. She also knew he liked men. Specifically Merlin. She was well aware of that one and the only one he could talk to about it. She responded saying she would meet him on Monday. She had actually been the one to come up with the drag disguise in the first place.

When Merlin came out of his room Arthur had settled down some. He opened his mouth at the site that greeted him. Of course Merlin had gone all out for their first official date. Sleek black pants that almost looked like soft leather, dark loafers and button down silk maroon shirt. He knew Arthur liked all shades of red. His hair was fluffy from being blown dry and the rest of his problems flew away when Merlin licked his lips. “Like what you see?”

“You’ll do.” Arthur smirked and gestured forward. “Let’s go.”

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin knows it's best to let Arthur carry out any plans and just go with it.

As Arthur sat down opposite Merlin at the posh restaurant he tried not to look nervous and channeled his inner suave. He was supposed to be romancing Merlin, not panicking about the stack of books at home. It wasn’t his fault that he was a good writer and people wanted to meet him, er her, and uhm. It was his fault that he had never told Merlin, his best friend. It had been hard enough to talk to him about liking men but telling him about this? He had no idea and he was terrified of losing him in spite of what Merlin had adamantly told him.

Things were getting too close for comfort. He’d completely forgotten that Merlin worked for Avalon or would have said something to Gwen. Now he couldn’t because the contract would give Merlin a lot of extra money he wouldn’t otherwise have.

“Okay.” Merlin looked carefully at Arthur, “Relax.”

“What… I’m fine.” Arthur protested.

Merlin rolled his eyes, reached over and turned the menu right side up.

So much for suave. Arthur flushed, reached for his wine glass and nearly knocked it over. This of course caused people to look their way briefly. “Sorry….” He glared at the menu as if it was the menu’s fault.

Merlin tried his hardest not to, really, but he couldn’t help himself and giggled.

Arthur looked up sharply, “It’s not funny!” He ground out.

“It is a little! You hardly know what to do with yourself.” Merlin grinned and then gave him a kinder smile. “Really, Arthur, you don’t have to put on a show. Just be you, that’s the man I love, you know?”

Arthur let his lips slide into a smile at that and was finally able to actually read the words on the menu and figure out what he wanted. After that they had a truly pleasant meal and talked about nothing truly terribly important. He mostly let Merlin talk because he loved to hear the man’s voice and watch him. He loved the watching part. Merlin had such lovely hands. After the meal there was tasty deserts and coffee and he didn’t want the night to end just yet.

When they were out of the restaurant he walked with Merlin down the street of busy stores that didn’t close until later in the evening. There was a fountain at the end of the promenade and he smiled when he saw it. “Merlin…I…” Arthur had intended to find the perfect moment but Merlin beat him to it. There were times when the fountain lit up as water sprayed up the curling statue and the lights activated making it somewhat magical.

Merlin turned and rested his hand on the back of Arthur’s head briefly, gave him a smile and kissed him. The kiss was warm and tender and Merlin curiously probed further. Arthur opened up under his lips and let him explore. It was exhilarating and a little terrifying but it was also warm and wonderful and all things that Arthur ever wanted. All his dreams were within reach now, everything he’d worked so hard for.

The connection he felt with Merlin just then sent waves of heat through his entire body and prompted him to deepen the kiss. He’d written about this so often that actually experiencing it was surreal. He never thought he ever would. “Merlin…” he whispered softly as they had to actually breathe.

Merlin’s hands were on him, the fingers of one hand twisted through his hair lazily and the other curled at his hip. “mmm…?” Merlin nestled his head in the crook of Arthur’s neck.

“I was supposed to kiss you.” Arthur said with a slight pout.

Merlin snorted, “If I waited for you, you’d never get around to it and then talk yourself out of it because it was the wrong time.” He slid his hands down Arthur’s back and rested both on the other man’s ass. With a single motion he pushed them together. “And honestly, having a proper courtship is really not something I want from you although I love you for the thought. You already have me, you stupid man, you don’t need to do whatever it is you're trying to do.”  
  
Arthur stared at Merlin with a strange expression. “But…I…” He waved a hand helplessly at nothing in particular. “Oh…” He looked down and laughed a little.

Merlin looked worried for a moment when he saw Arthur’s crestfallen expression. “Sorry.” He chuckled. “I forget how you like to control everything. You had a plan, didn’t you?”

Arthur nodded.

“I should probably let you execute said plan and shut up.” Merlin patted his shoulder. “Otherwise you’re going to be mental for the rest of the week.”

Arthur nodded.

Merlin chuckled and linked his arm with Arthur’s. “Well, what’s next on your list?” He’d play along because in the end he’d have what _he_ wanted and that would be Arthur.

Arthur beamed at him, “Thank you, Merlin.” He pressed his lips against Merlin’s forehead and walked them back through the shopping district to their home. “Well, I thought we’d have a nice walk to work off that dinner and watch something on the Telly. Unless you’d prefer a movie but there’s not much playing right now. Tomorrow I have tickets to the local theater, we’ll take in some culture.” He knew how much Merlin loved the theater.

“Nice one, Pendragon.” Merlin grinned gleefully. One advantage Arthur had was that he knew everything Merlin liked.

Home, it had a new meaning to Arthur now. It wasn’t where he lived, it was where he lived with Merlin. Where they lived. He smiled at the adorable, amazing man walking with him he’d known so long. He could almost stop thinking about the inevitable. His secret. He had to admit he didn’t actually want to see those books again. Hopefully Merlin would just skim through them quickly and not really read them. The dedications, they were all for Merlin but he wouldn’t know from reading them. They were ambiguous, would he? “Merlin?” Arthur asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I um, want to promise you something before we go inside.” Arthur shifted to move in front of him and clasp his hands.

“er, sure?” Merlin looked over at him in some confusion.

“Listen. Whatever happens in the next couple of weeks while I do this with you try and keep an open mind.” Arthur said earnestly.

 _Oh god, he’s talking about the drag_. Was Merlin’s immediate thought.

“Whatever you might see, just bear with me. Don’t assume anything, don’t run away. Let me explain even if I haven’t been able to talk yet.” Arthur asked gently. “I know it sounds like a weird thing to ask you but there are um… some things you don’t know about me and I’m not ready to talk to you about yet. I’m hoping that after we do this, I might be. I want to be. I love you, Merlin. I just don’t want you to think less of me.”

Merlin stared at Arthur in some confusion. Drag wasn’t really that bad, what other secrets did Arthur have? He must be truly worried about it and all he wanted to do was reassure the man that nothing, nothing would make Merlin hate him. Upset him, yeah, but hate him? Not want to talk to him? That would never happen. “Its fine, Arthur.” Merlin reassured him gently. “Tell me when you’re ready. When you are, I will listen to you.”

Arthur smiled at him and they hugged and went back into the apartment. He was a little worried but no longer petrified of what Merlin would say when he found out.  He even managed not to glare at the stack of books when they walked passed them. “I thought you didn’t like Romance novels?” He reached out to take Merlin’s coat and hang it up.

“I was told this AP King is pretty good so I figured I’d read for myself. Besides, I want to research her for the event. Maybe I can get a feel of what she likes through her work.” Merlin explained. “And I have read romance before, just not on this level.” He gestured to the stack of books with an expression of disdain.

Arthur frowned. “What do you mean?” He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“Fluff and nonsense for the sake of writing sex scenes.” Merlin laughed softly. He picked up the cover of one book and read the summary at the back. “I mean honestly: Baroness Jade Simmons was well known for her book club. She was rich and beautiful and had been abandoned by her husband five years ago. She could hardly be blamed when she didn’t recognize the Irish Rogue who charmed her at a recent soiree so starved for affection she was or when she decided to throw caution to the wind and escape with him to the countryside just to feel alive again ..... And it goes on to talk about some sort of upheaval that was happening at the time she gets embroiled in. Pure trash, honestly.” Merlin shrugged. “But it’s research.”

Arthur tried hard not to get angry. It wasn’t like that. It was historical romance and he’d written it! Merlin had just called his work trash. “How do you know until you’ve read it?” Arthur said quietly. “The author probably put all their heart into that book. It’s rather callous to just dismiss it, yeah? Without even reading it.”

Merlin gave him a funny 'who are you?' look. “I guess you’re right. Romance isn’t realistic though no matter how much history you throw into it. I mean people don’t fall in love and get whisked away on white horses, it just doesn’t happen. Look at me and you. I certainly didn’t need romance to know what I feel.”

“Just give it a chance.” Arthur continued to press him about the books. “You might like it.”

“I doubt it but maybe it’ll help me sleep.” Merlin wandered into the living room while Arthur seethed behind him.

Merlin glanced back and finally noticed Arthur’s sudden change in mood. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” Arthur said between his teeth. He got their drinks without another word and went back to sit on the couch. He sat down next to Merlin and put an arm around his shoulder while the show came on. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, let’s just watch the show.”

Merlin sighed in confusion. Arthur was sometimes as easy to read as an open book and then he pulled this attitude and Merlin just wanted to shake him. Instead he cuddled up against Arthur and used his new status as Arthur’s boyfriend… was that what he was? He rested his head against his heart.

After a while, Arthur relaxed a bit more and stroked his head gently. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to get bent about it.”

“No harm done.” Merlin yawned. The constant pets were making him sleepy and a little horny too. “Keep doing that and you’re not sleeping alone tonight.”

Arthur paused in the stroking. “I don’t expect you to…”

“Relax, Arthur I know you don’t want to jump into bed. But, honestly…” Merlin moved slowly and straddled him. “A little snogging never hurt anyone and once again…” Merlin’s fingers trailed up and down Arthur’s shirt, “If I waited for you, I’d wait forever.” He kissed Arthur again and this time he meant business. He carefully flicked at the buttons on Arthur’s shirt and pulled it open only draw his hands over the man’s chest with a heady smile. “These are mine now.” He whispered hotly while Arthur got to work with his own hands.

One thing led to another and soon shirts were off and breathing became rather difficult. Arthur reveled in the feeling of Merlin’s tongue against his skin. It was mind-numbing and addictive. He lost himself in it and let them keep going without a thought to anything else. He wanted… oh god how much he wanted to be buried deep inside this beautiful man writhing on top of him. It felt too soon and he hadn’t told Merlin his secret yet and if he did this and it went all the way without Merlin knowing it wasn't fair. Rational Arthur was having a war with horny Arthur who hadn’t had sex in a very long while.

And Merlin wasn’t helping. He ground his hips against Arthur bringing to mind the fact that he’d just recently seen Merlin doing this with Lancelot … on this very couch. Merlin knew exactly what he was doing. “Wait...” Arthur tried to hold Merlin in place and to stop him from creating more friction.

Merlin’s hands paused in Arthur’s hair. “Why?” His chest heaved as he drew in shaky breaths. His eyes were dark with need and simply screamed: I want you to fuck me, right now. He had promised not to do anything Arthur didn’t want to do right away so he did wait, brushed Arthur’s hair from his eyes then rested his hands in his lap.

“I just want to wait, that’s all. A little while, let’s just settle into this, okay?” Arthur gave him a smile.

Merlin grinned, Arthur was sometimes just too adorable for his own good. “I still get to snog you though, right?”

“Mmm hmm. Snog at will.”

Merlin certainly took that to heart.

***

“So, brother, what have you got yourself into now?” Morgana sat across from Arthur at lunch on Monday with a frown.

“My publisher is promoting my new book and the company Merlin works for has been selected to run the event.” Arthur gave her a look of misery. “I’m working up to tell him but what if I can’t before then? It’s in two weeks, Morgana. I swear, karma is laughing at me.”

“Oh Arthur!” Morgana laughed. “Only you. Okay, so I’m assuming they want you there for signing?”

“Yes.” Arthur nodded.

“And you’ll be dressed up?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you won’t be able to figure out how to tell Merlin about all of this before then?” Morgana had a sip of wine because wine was her life’s blood and it helped her deal with her hopeless brother.

“I’ve got a plan but it may not work. What if it doesn’t work? What am I going to do?” Arthur worried his lower lip. “Come on, I need you, Morgs, you’ve got to help me!”

“Relax, brother dear. I’ve got your back and I happen to know the publisher. Gwen and I get along famously.” Morgana gave Arthur a beatific smile. “Leave it all to me. If you haven’t managed to spill your guts to Merlin by the time the event rolls around I have a plan.”

“Oh, thank god.” Arthur slumped in his chair. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the next two weeks. He was also dying to know what Merlin thought of the book he was reading. If Merlin truly thought it was just trash he didn’t know what he was going to feel like.

He wanted Merlin to like them more than he would admit to himself.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin meets Gwen  
> Freya is smarter than Merlin  
> Arthur finds out what Merlin thinks of his books.

Arthur found his way home late Monday. There were two reasons. One, work was insane and his father was livid that he took a day off in spite of the fact that Mordred was perfectly capable of running the office while he was gone. Two, he was insanely nervous about returning to the flat. He was dying to know if Merlin finished the first book and what he thought of it. Not to mention the fact that he was a crazy bundle of nerves he was so afraid that Merlin wouldn’t be impressed and would scoff and he couldn’t handle that.

When he got closer to the front door of the apartment he heard soft music playing. It was the kind Merlin liked to listen to when he was concentrating. He wasn’t sure what that meant but he gritted his teeth, manned up and turned the key in the lock. “I’m home!” Arthur said cautiously though he wasn’t sure why he was being cautious.

There was no answer from Merlin and that naturally made Arthur even more nervous. He hung up his coat and keys and checked his mail as he always did. He couldn’t help it, he was a creature of habit and just had to do everything in a certain order or there was no way he could function. He didn’t see Merlin in the living room so the next place he’d be was the kitchen or his bedroom. Arthur checked the kitchen, no Merlin but there was a plate of food for him in the fridge with a sticky note and a heart. It was late and of course Merlin had already eaten. He ignored the food for now and ventured down the hall.

Merlin’s room was ajar and so he peeked in. Merlin was reclined in his bed and absorbed completely in … the book he was reading. Not the first one, either, he was on Arthur’s third book. Arthur grinned to himself as he watched some emotion play across Merlin’s face as he turned the next page. Merlin’s dinner had also made it to his bedroom and hadn’t been cleared away yet. Several empties lined his bedside table. He’d been reading a long while and he was also only in his boxers. Arthur’s eyes slid to the floor where some tissues hadn’t quite made it to the litter bin and then back to Merlin’s face. Tears were in his eyes. He’d been standing there for nearly two minutes and Merlin still hadn’t noticed he was there. Arthur smiled.

He backed away from the room and smiled again.

_He likes them._

He punched the air, grinned again and slunk off to the kitchen to heat up his meal, grab some wine and wait for Merlin to emerge from his bedroom.

Arthur tried to make as little sound as possible while he heated up his plate and put it on the table. It was something healthy with more veggies than food as usual but he didn’t mind. Whatever Merlin made always tasted fantastic. He licked his lips and dug in with a new sense of enthusiasm for life. Merlin LIKED his books. Liked them enough to already be on the third one. He didn’t know how to deal with it, he wanted to hug himself for joy and just roll around on the ground laughing.

_He likes them._

“Arthur, you’re home!” Merlin’s look of surprise was almost comical when he wandered out with his nose still in the book. He had been going to get a refill for his tea and noticed Arthur just finishing his dinner.

“Hi.” Arthur quite literally beamed at him. “I didn’t want to disturb you, you looked so engrossed.” He gestured to the book.

Merlin blushed to the roots of his hair. “Erm…” He marked his place. “They’re quite good, actually.” He eyed the book somewhat forlornly as though he was having difficulty making the choice between continuing to read said book, and properly greeting Arthur. “And more than a little addicting.” Merlin said sheepishly. “I almost forgot to cook dinner.”

Arthur was certain that being jealous of yourself was insane so he did his best to bury any of those such thoughts and smiled again. Before he could say anything else, however, Merlin came up and hugged him. Clearly, Arthur was his choice and of course he was fine with that.

“Welcome home.” Merlin kissed his neck gently and straddled his lap.

“Not finished…” Arthur whispered. “And I should really brush my teeth and clear away the dishes…”

“Shut-up, Arthur.” Merlin kissed him hungrily. “I’m not sure I can wait for your schedule. I really want you to fuck me now.”

“I take it the novels have something to do with this?”

“Freya warned me, but I didn’t think she was right! I don’t know what I was expecting but whatever it was it wasn’t that. The detail, the emotion…” Merlin shuddered, his body was heated and Arthur could feel his arousal pressing against him. “I’ve been wanting you to fuck me since I finished the first book. I want to touch your whole body, Arthur. Everything. I’ve never been so turned on before. Please, Arthur. Can we just ignore your plan tonight? Please?” He kissed along the side of Arthur’s jaw and ground into him.

Arthur’s resolve to stick to his plan crumbled. He had absolutely no defense when he had an extremely needy, warm Merlin in his arms. He wouldn’t have been able to think rationally if it would save his life. He hadn’t even changed out of his suit yet. “ _Mer_ lin…” He rasped dazedly.

Merlin pulled him to his feet and began working at the buttons of Arthur’s shirt. He lifted it out of his pants and tugged at his tie.

And Arthur could only let him.

Merlin maneuvered them down the hallway to Arthur’s bedroom and all but threw Arthur on the bed, then pounced him. “God what I’ve wanted to… sorry… need to.” He shucked off his boxers and climbed back on Arthur.

Arthur had trouble sorting out what happened after that, it was all frantic and needy. Merlin wanted him, and wanted him bad. Merlin found condoms and lube suspiciously in one of his bedside table drawers. He certainly hadn’t put it there. During the time it took for Merlin to rip open the condom and slide it on him it dawned on him that he could maybe be anyone at the moment and that his books had reduced Merlin to this wanton display. That was the last coherent moment he had because….Merlin did something he’d never written about. Pretty much because his books didn’t have them.

When Merlin slipped the condom on him using his lips, Arthur thought he must have died and gone to heaven, then he rolled it out and smoothed it with his fingers.

“Wait, don’t I need to prepare you?” Arthur clutched Merlin’s shoulder as he was already positioning himself over Arthur's cock.

Merlin looked at him, glassy-eyed. “I’ve been…” he blushed a little which was cute considering what he had just done. How in the world could someone be shy after that? “It won’t take long.”

“Let me be the judge of that.” Arthur said huskily. He took the lube and proceeded to test just that and was pleasantly surprised that he wasn’t kidding. It truly didn’t take that long to finish the job which of course soon had Merlin making all kinds of delicious sounds.

“Enough!” Merlin croaked. “I’m ready!” He lent forward and kissed Arthur fiercely. “I’ve wanted this for years. I’ve never been more ready, Arthur.”

As he plunged deep into Merlin Arthur recalled the scenes from his books, the lovemaking and the sounds that followed. Whenever he wrote scenes involving men he always pictured himself and Merlin and nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of being inside him like this. Throughout it all, Merlin remained on top since he refused to let Arthur flip them over as he knelt above the man and rode him while stroking his own cock.

“Merlin…” Arthur’s eyes slid closed and he gnawed his lip as he tried to last as long as he possibly could. At this angle it was difficult for him to try and hit Merlin’s prostrate but he was up to the challenge and had all the muscles he needed to do so.

They kept moving together and for Arthur at least, this was everything he could have dreamed of. The man above him was the most beautiful person on the planet, and he was Arthur’s, at least for now.

***

Later, Merlin snuggled against him happily. “I’ve always wanted to spend the night in your bed.” He yawned and brushed his thumb over one of Arthur’s nipples.

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll be right back, I just need the bathroom. You can stay.” He kissed the top of Merlin’s head and headed to the bathroom. He glanced back at the bed to find Merlin lazily watching him… well… his ass.

Merlin licked his lips and Arthur smirked.

Once in the bathroom he was alone with his own thoughts again. He brushed his teeth and did his nightly ritual since he wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise as Merlin well knew. He brushed his hair out and put on the special soap he used to stop the occasional pimple he’d get unexpectedly, cleaned that and finally realized he was stalling.

He’d never actually slept with anyone in his bed before. He liked things in his room to be specifically ordered and Merlin was the opposite of that. He also knew his brain was starting to chide him for taking advantage of Merlin’s highly aroused state. A state he’d caused, apparently, because he’s writing was quite good. Merlin didn’t even know… oh god he was going to wait. NOW what was he going to do? If he told Merlin about the books now it would look like. Wait, calm down Pendragon. Arthur took several deep breaths and gripped the sink. Sometimes he wished he were more of a confident person, more like Merlin but he was who he was.

He turned finally to go back into the bedroom and find Merlin sound asleep in the middle of the bed. Apparently, he’d waited a bit too long. He got all the lights in the apartment off and set the alarm for a bit earlier than both of them usually woke. Finally he crawled in the bed with Merlin and made him skootch over a little. After some initial struggling of trying to get the man to sleep on his side of the bed he gave up and just let Merlin cling to him.

He’d have to worry about everything else tomorrow.

***

After the first night they slept together Merlin wasn’t going to let him off the hook and declare that there wouldn’t be any more sex until he got through his plan. There was sex, and as often as they could handle it. Arthur was starting to relax and look better than he had in months so clearly it was a good thing. He was sleeping well too, Merlin made sure of that.

Any chance he got he kept reading AP King’s books. “Research” he claimed and yet it wasn’t. He was truly hooked on them. They were absolutely phenomenal and the writer was flawless. Romance novels! They were more than that, so much more. If he was lucky maybe she’d autograph them. He’d read more about her as the week rolled by.

She was reclusive, they said and one tumblr blog called her ‘mannish’ out of spite. She had a bunch of completely ludicrous demands they expected Avalon to comply with and she had very specific tastes. The first demand was ‘no pictures with fans’, the next was no pictures at all, then she wanted at least two bodyguards and would sue if anyone got within three feet of her. She apparently had some sort of phobia of being touched. She always had to wear sunglasses because bright light hurt her eyes and she insisted on dim lighting. There was only a certain type of bottled water that AP King liked and specific type of tea too. Really, he was used to pickiness, Arthur was extremely picky when it came to certain things. There wasn’t even a photo on the back of her books. She was described as a tall blonde with piercing blue eyes by someone. She didn’t go to the writer conferences and she rarely did autograph sessions.

Thinking about people who liked specific things and wouldn’t be satisfied unless that is what they got turned Merlin’s brain to Arthur again. Their sexual relationship was new but it had quickly become more connection than Merlin had ever had with another man. Arthur gave his all and was completely involved in the act. Merlin felt practically worshiped every time the man touched him and it was a wonderful feeling. He smiled at the memory and didn’t register any comments delivered his way until Freya snapped her fingers in front of his face.

“Merlin, you there?”

“Oh, sorry.” Merlin’s mind came back to the present and he focused on Freya who had stopped by his desk again.

“Gwen, this is Merlin.” Freya indicated the dark beauty next to her. “Gwen is the Editor for Camelot Publishing.”

Merlin’s mouth opened and closed. It was the same woman from Arthur’s phone. “Hello.” He responded on auto-pilot and took her hand to shake it.

“I hear you’re going to be running the event to promote Ms King’s latest book. It’s going to be quite big.” Gwen gushed at him with a happy smile.

She had not a single ounce of unkindness in her body. How could this woman be the ruthless editor of Camelot Publishing!?! He sort of gaped at her and forced a wide smile. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve already put a number of the requests on order.”

Gwen gave Merlin a closer look. “You seem familiar, do I know you?”

“Aha! You see it too don’t you?” Freya grinned maniacally. “It’s uncanny.”

“What’s uncanny?”

“Merlin, you’ve read AP King’s books, most of them anyway. Did you ever actually read the descriptions of the Irishman?” Freya asked innocently. “You know the one she always uses in one form or other.”

“Er, yes?” Merlin still wasn’t sure what they were on about.

“Certainly is uncanny. High cheekbones, long fingers… the nose and the eyes, the mop of dark hair. You’re right, Freya.” Gwen laughed softly. “He’s a dead ringer for the Irishman.”

Merlin blushed, “You must be joking, the Irishman is a dashing hero with bulk and abs. I’m a thin and not a strapping hero. You girls and your imagination!” he scoffed.

“No, she describes him as lean with just the right amount of muscle for his type. That’s you.” Freya declared with a grin.

“Oh please.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Couldn’t possibly be true, AP King’s never met me.”

Gwen began to get a thoughtful expression on her face. She knew there was a lot that Arthur didn’t tell her about his private life but she also knew he lived with someone named Merlin with a weird last name. “What was your last name again?”

“Emrys.”

“Oh!” Gwen’s eyes widened and then shuttered as though she had come to a revelation of some kind and decided to keep whatever it was to herself. Arthur, you fool. She wanted to shake him if she didn’t love his writing so much and his books didn’t make so much money. This man was Arthur’s roommate and the one all the dedications were for and he didn’t even know. “You’re Arthur’s roommate.”

“And you’re the lady he was trying to get a job with?” Merlin still hadn’t connected the dots

“Yes, um. That’s me. He has talent.” Gwen gave a flustered little smile. That was an understatement.

Freya had connected the dots. Her eyes danced as she looked at Gwen, then to Merlin. She supposed she would have to wait until the event to see what happens. She didn’t feel right explaining to Merlin, however because if Arthur was trying to keep his identity a secret it was probably for a good reason. Arthur Pendragon! Freya sighed inwardly. She hoped one day they’d get their relationship sorted.

“Well, small world.” Freya grinned airily. “Let’s get to work on the seating arrangements then?”

Merlin was more than happy to let that discussion drop.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

The more days went by, the more Arthur realized his carefully laid plans were crumbling around him. He’d had more sex in the past week than he could count in the last year. He’d always known Merlin liked sex, and so did he. He’d spent so many years having to deal with knowing someone else was doing this with him. He had that honor now. He was Merlin’s best friend and lover and the words were flowing so freely now it was like a drug.

He was on the top of his game when it came to writing the sequel for his new book. The event was in a few days and he had not yet managed to find the right time to tell Merlin. Merlin had read all of AP King’s books and still hadn’t caught on. He seemed to be slightly obsessed with the author now which sort of made Arthur a little jealous. There were times he’d come to Merlin spending hours on the web trying to search for information on her.

“It’s freaking impossible, Arthur. How do they expect me to run an event for someone I am not able to research?!” Merlin had become rather worried this week as the event was on Saturday and it was Wednesday.

Arthur glanced over at him with a sigh. “You’ve been obsessed with this writer ever since you brought those books home.” He folded the newspaper up that he was reading and studied his lover. He’d given up romancing him and just accepted that Merlin didn’t need that. He struggled a few days because not having a plan tended to make his stomach turn in knots but Merlin had assured him not to worry about it and he couldn’t do anything else but agree at this point. It was a little scary how easily they settled into having sex be part of their normal routine.

He sighed and once again tried to figure out how to tell Merlin that the author he was obsessing over was sitting right in front of him. It was all so… Just say it Pendragon, you’re a damn coward. He stood up from his chair and wandered over to the couch to where Merlin had his laptop open. He leaned down and ruffled Merlin’s hair. “Perhaps she just really likes Privacy?”

“Maybe.” Merlin sighed, and gave his current search. “I have no idea what I’m going to say to her on Saturday.” He chuckled. “I’m not even sure men are supposed to be fans of them.”

“Well some men like romance.” Arthur chuckled and spoke without thinking. “She writes for everyone, you can tell she’s trying to appeal to all audiences.”

“You...” Merlin peered at him suspiciously for a moment. “You’ve _read_ them?”

“Em…” Arthur tried to figure out an appropriate back-peddle.

Merlin squinted at him. “You don’t read. I’ve never seen you with a book that isn’t the newspaper.”

“I-..” Arthur shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to respond.

“Arthur.” Merlin turned to look at him. “You’ve been on edge the last few days, don’t think I haven’t noticed. I know we sort of ignored your plan. Are you alright?” He laced their fingers together. “You’re not having second thoughts about our new…thing? Am I doing anything wrong?”

“No..no..no..” Arthur knelt into the couch and took Merlin’s face in his hands. “You’re everything I could possibly want. I love you. I just… that thing I’m working on telling you about. I want to just say it but I’m afraid to.”

“Arthur…” Merlin took his hands and kissed the palms. “I’ve seen the dresses, the wig and the makeup.” He nuzzled Arthur’s palm softly. “I don’t know what they mean and I’m sorry, I was desperate. I needed to know what was going on. I … I looked through your room.”

Arthur’s look turned into a frown then a downright scowl. “You what?” One of Arthur’s pet peeves was people going through his stuff, reorganizing anything and too late Merlin realized his mistake. He should have remembered.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.” Merlin reached up but Arthur was already pulling away to stand and fold his arms across his chest. “You were freaking me out.”

“You _searched my room_.” Arthur was extremely tense and his eyes became narrow and cold.

So much so that it obviously scared Merlin because he stood up and tried to approach the man. He tentatively put a hand on Arthur’s arm. “I forgot about how particular you are.” His eyes were anxious as he searched the blonde’s. “Just tell me what they’re for, if you like dressing up, that’s okay. It’s actually kind of hot and I’d love to… to see you…” Merlin was rambling now and the look on Arthur’s face was making his heart clench. “I didn’t … I mean. I … Arthur?” He prodded Arthur’s arm gently.

Arthur was not sure what was happening. It felt like he was watching everything from afar and he couldn’t tell himself to do anything. He jerked away from Merlin. “Don’t. Don’t touch me.”

Merlin’s face crumpled and his legs gave out. He collapsed back on the couch. “Arthur?” He gave a desperate sound in his throat.

It was a thing for him. He just. He couldn’t deal it. His privacy was a huge deal to him and he’d been so careful to hide that part of his life. Arthur tried to breathe normally but he found his breathing was coming in short gasps. He pressed a hand to his temple and turned away for a moment as he tried to process everything. The only way he could do that would be to take apart every word and sort through it. He couldn’t do that if Merlin kept talking.

“God, don’t, please.” Merlin scrambled off the couch on his knees. “Please, Arthur. I love you.”

“I have to think.” Arthur said flatly, harsher than he meant to. “I have to …” he gestured helplessly. With anyone else he would have left the room and shut them out completely. He couldn’t move away.

Eventually Merlin shuffled over to him while still on his knees. Merlin wrapped his arms around his waist and held on to him tightly. “I love you, Arthur.” He repeated. “Every part of you.”

Arthur felt his resolve to need space start to waver. He focused on Merlin’s voice and forced the anxiety to slide away. Eventually his breathing returned to normal. Merlin had refused to let go and was still holding on. He reached down to stroke the younger man’s hair. “Sorry.”

Merlin got to his feet and plastered his body against Arthur’s. He rested his head against his lover’s shoulder. “My fault, I forgot.”

“I love you, too.” Arthur kissed the top of his forehead. “I’m not a cross-dresser, Merlin. Not exactly.”

“Then why do you have all that stuff?”

Arthur sighed. “The secret I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that needs me to use them, at least for now. Once in a very long while. Every six months or so. Like this weekend. I have to use them this weekend.”

“Why this weekend?” Merlin looked slightly confused.

“You’ve got an event to be at, so do I.” Arthur shrugged.

“Are you being forced to do this?” Merlin frowned. “Is it blackmail?”

“No, Merlin.” Arthur shook his head.

“Can I see you in them?” Merlin gave a hopeful expression. The idea of Arthur in heels created quite a stir in his blood.

“ _Mer_ lin…” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“At least the lipstick. I want to see your lips painted. Christ, I bet that’s hot.” Merlin closed his eyes as though imagining it.

Arthur sighed. “Incorrigible, that’s what you are.”

“Irresistible, you mean. Come on, please Arthur?” Merlin batted his eyelashes coquettishly.

“I’m not a woman, Merlin. What you see is what you get.” Arthur snorted. “And the answer is no.”

“Prat.” Merlin muttered. “I bet you wear a silk skirt underneath, do you?”

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur gave him a look.

“Stockings?” Merlin slipped out of his arms and gave a jerk of his head in the direction of the bedrooms. Whichever bed was closest. He pulled of his shirt.

“ _MER_ LIN!”

“Do you paint your nails?” Merlin ducked in his bedroom, and a moment later stuck his head out since Arthur appeared to be rooted to the spot. “Are you coming?”

Arthur managed to get his body working and in Merlin’s general direction as fast as he possibly could. It wasn’t until he was lying spent on top of his lover that he realized he’d managed to avoid answering the question about whether or not he’d read his own books.

Fuck, he only had a couple of days left.

***

It was Thursday night, Merlin knew Arthur was always late at the office Thursdays so he wasn’t expecting him home anytime soon. He stretched uncomfortably. Everything was ready for the event Saturday. Tomorrow he would go in and make sure all the arrangements were set up properly and the line cue separators were in place and all of AP King’s requirements down to her special type of water was available. He had a few moments to pick up the last novel for a re-read. He caressed the cover gently as he studied it. The Irishman was always on the cover in one way shape or form. He was AP King’s recurring character. Always a foil and sometimes the heroine or hero would succumb to him. That’s why he liked these novels. Sometimes the shady characters won the girl or guy they were after. It wasn’t always the heartthrob and you never knew until the last chapter. He opened the book and checked out the first few pages, he hadn’t really read anything there before but he had already read the book and if he was going to read it again he didn’t want to miss anything.

_These words I could not write but for the beautiful idiot I live with. He is the air that I breathe and my heart will always be his._

Beautiful Idiot, that’s what Arthur always called him. Merlin chuckled to himself.

He started on the first couple of pages before his mind went back to it. He got up suddenly and put the book down. Freya’s words from the other day were coming back to him for some reason.

_You’re a dead ringer for the Irishman._

Eh. He was an Irishman.

He turned the book over and looked at the cover to study the brunette with the twinkling eyes and large ears. Merlin self-consciously rubbed his ears. Did the author know him? He felt somewhat uncomfortable for a long moment. He went to the list on his tablet and ticked it off. The bottled water caught his eye.

_That was the only water Arthur drank._

He rubbed his forehead and pulled the other books out. He hadn’t looked carefully at any of the dedications before until now and he meant to study each one now.

_“You’re a beautiful idiot, Merlin but you’re my beautiful idiot.” Arthur loved to tell him._

It was his imagination, his hands shook as he picked up the next book. It had a similar dedication with an extremely subtle reference that made him frown. It referred to a trip they took three years ago. Could also be a coincidence, perhaps AP King.

Wait….what….

Autoria P King.

Merlin’s eyes opened wide in shock as he almost dropped the book. Uther had often snidely joked about how Arthur could be the Once and Future King if every Lord in England died. He picked up another book, then another. His lips trembled.

_You’re a dead ringer for the Irishman._

Arthur Pendragon was Autoria P King.

(NOTE: This lovely piece of art was done by Merlocked18 The original art can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/5208974 :):)

Merlin’s world sort of crashed in on itself for a brief moment and he fell back on the bed in stunned shock, the books all kind of scattered around him.

Arthur. Arthur had written these books. His Arthur. Stuffy, uptight Arthur who worked too much. When did he have the time? Was this why he was always tired?

Merlin laughed to himself.

God he was thick, Freya had caught on a lot quicker than he had.

Everything on AP King’s list were things that Arthur would have requested. She was reported to be tall and blonde with piercing blue eyes.

He gathered up the books in his arms and hugged them all. They were all for him and he loved each and every glorious word.

Merlin smiled widely as tears streaked down his cheeks. This was what Arthur had been working up the courage to tell him. He was about to hit a best-selling novel that would likely get a movie deal. This would mean he could break away from Uther. He could finally do what he wanted. Gwen … Camelot Publishing. It all made sense.

That incredibly amazing bastard.

Merlin stared at the ceiling. Now that he knew, how was he going to tell Arthur? He kind of thought he deserved a little payback for being kept in the dark all these years. He would tell Arthur Saturday that he knew who AP King was because that was when he was going to meet “her” anyway.

He smiled and picked himself up off the bed resolved to make Arthur’s favorite dinner.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story was meant to be short and sweet with the boys being their precious selves.:)

When Friday came they were both busy the entire day and Arthur pretended to himself that he was actually thankful for that when he was a bundle of chaotic nerves. His sister had spent several hours that afternoon making sure he didn’t drive himself insane from worry.

“Everything will be fine Arthur. You know he loves you and you know he loves ‘AP King’s books.” She’d assured him after making sure that the make-up he had wasn’t expired or out of date. Morgana was the one that purchased everything for him, of course. “Honestly, I can’t believe you haven’t managed to tell him yet. You’ve progressed in your relationship for the past two weeks. You had plenty of moments, I’m sure.”

“What about the fact that he’s the inspiration for my recurring character?” Arthur gestured wildly while Morgana talked him out of getting drunk. “I never asked him if it was okay… I just… I just wrote everything I ever wanted to…”

“You mean all those sex scenes with men?” Morgana lifted a brow, she’d had an idea they were Arthur’s own fantasies but had no idea he’d been that obsessed.

Arthur stared at his hands. “Well, not all of them.”

“Baby brother, you are pathetic.” Morgana rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you haven’t made a move before now. How did you live? No… wait never mind. I know. You didn’t.” She rubbed her temples. “God, Arthur. Why are you still at the office anyway? It’s almost seven. Let’s get out of here, go home to Merlin. Tell him. I’ll be there tomorrow to distract him like you asked. Everything will be fine.”

Arthur dragged his feet on the way back to the apartment. He found every excuse he could think of to not get home on time to have a sit down dinner with Merlin and he felt terrible about it. He knew the man didn’t deserve his anxiety but he couldn’t help it. He’d lived with this secret for so long it was hard to let go. He had managed to stop at a store and pick up wine and Merlin’s favorite chocolate at least. It might win him some points?

When he finally got to the apartment he found it was dark. Merlin wasn’t even home yet. Arthur tossed his keys and coat aside with a sigh. It was almost eight. There was a ping on his phone and he got a message.

>Please tell me you didn’t JUST get home. I’m out at the site, Freya have some last minute things to take care of. I’ll be late. There’s food in the fridge.

>Er. I won’t then….

>ARTHUR!

Only Merlin was capable of actually glaring at him through text, Arthur was certain.

>had a meeting.

>will be home around 9:30 if all goes well.

Arthur sighed as it didn’t look like Merlin was going to be home in time for them to talk. He’d left it too late.

>See you then.

>Yeah.

>Arthur, are you alright?

>Fine, just tired.

>Love you.

>You too.

Arthur sat down heavily on the couch and undid his tie. In a fit utterly uncharacteristic of him he whipped it across the room and buried his head in his hands. He wasn’t ready for this. He’d thought he could handle it. He thought he could break away from his father and become his own man. The only thing he’d ever done well was write and because he’d left it too late he may have screwed up the only relationship he couldn’t afford to. He tried to remember Morgana’s lecture earlier that day. Merlin loved him. Merlin would understand. He had to try and cling to that. He had to trust.

Arthur exhaled and calmed down his nerves the best he could. Possibly if they had stuck to his carefully planned ideas he might not be such a basket case at the moment. He lived for order and what they had done the past two weeks was absolutely anything but and he knew that after tomorrow nothing in his life would ever be the same again. Everything would change.

He didn’t like change.

Arthur glanced over to where he’d thrown the tie. It had taken only five minutes before he sighed and rose to go pick it up, then straighten a stack of magazines on one corner table. That’s when he knew what he had to do. Straighten and tidy everything he could think of in the apartment. That would get him through the next hour. He put the wine and chocolates in the fridge and threw on a sweatshirt and shorts so that he wouldn’t get his suit dirty.

And that was what Merlin came home to. A strong smell of cleaning agents and no Arthur answering him when he called out he was home. He strode around and wrinkled his nose. The windows were open but the smell was still strong. Arthur wasn’t in the kitchen or in his room, or the extremely tidy living… Merlin rolled his eyes as he tossed his coat over a chair. That meant that the last place to look was… yes. That was Arthur on his hands and knees on the bathroom floor, listening to music on his ipod.

Merlin stared.

He was wiggling his ass.

Merlin rubbed his face because god, there was no better sight than Arthur on his hands and knees … wiggling his ass to some song in his playlist. Merlin grinned and called his name. “ARTHUR!”

Arthur started and took out his earplugs. He flushed and glanced over his shoulder. “I was just about done, I think.” He scrambled up to his feet and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I got a bit carried away.”

“You always do when you’re on a cleaning binge. What set this one off? Did you even eat?” Merlin approached him and kissed his cheek.

“Mmm.” Arthur shrugged.

“You know I can tell when I go in the kitchen and see that supper is still in the fridge.” Merlin chuckled at Arthur’s expression.

“Oh shut it, you know very well what happened.” Arthur had gone on cleaning binges in the past. It usually meant he was having trouble focusing on something or had a very bad day at work. One of the two. He glanced at the clock, it was quarter to ten. “You’re late.”

“Had to make things perfect for Ms King and take care of a few last minute details.” Merlin shrugged. “Let me throw on something more comfy, and … please put on something else you smell like an ad for Merry Maids.”

Arthur snorted.

About thirty minutes later they were in Arthur’s bedroom and there was kissing, chocolate and wine. Not necessarily in that order and Arthur began to feel better after some soothing words and caresses from his lover.

“You need to stop worrying so much.” Merlin drew his fingers up and down Arthur’s neck gently. “I know you hate it when things are out of your control but you’ve got to relax. You’re wound up so tight. What is wrong?”

Arthur sighed. He was on his side, stretched out next to Merlin. Merlin’s eyes were indulgent with love and understanding. He stared up at the ceiling and exhaled. It was now or never. He was going to have to rip the bandage off sometime and better now and not in a room full of strangers tomorrow. “Merlin.” He sighed as he reached over to stroke his lover’s cheek and took a deep breath.

“I am AP King.” He gazed at his lover in abject trepidation, expecting the worst but hoping against hope for the best.

Merlin’s smile widened and his eyes shone even brighter. He took the wine glasses and chocolate and set them aside. With a small grin he put a finger to Arthur’s lips as he was about to speak. “Shh.” He moved up to sit straddle Arthur even though they were fully clothed at the moment. He ran his hands down Arthur’s chest and back up again. “I’m so proud of you!” He whispered and leaned forward to capture Arthur’s lips in a determined kiss. “Thank you for telling me.” He kissed Arthur again and again, literally covering his face with kisses. “Thank you for not waiting until tomorrow.”

“You knew?” Arthur’s brain was catching up.

“Only for a few days. I saw the dedications and a lot of other things. I…love them.” Tears prickled in Merlin’s eyes. “I wish you had told me years ago but I understand why you didn’t.” He cupped Arthur’s face and smiled softly at him. “You didn’t know how I felt and you are just…you.” He tugged off his own shirt while Arthur just gazed at him speechlessly. “Now I know why I felt so horny after reading them, you were talking. That was your voice in my head when I read those words. You’re amazing.” He traced his fingers up and down Arthur’s chest in delicate circles. “I can’t believe you finally worked up the courage to tell me. Thank you, Arthur.”

Arthur wondered if he was dreaming. He gazed up at the younger man with a smile that could only be described as goofy. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Merlin kissed him. “This doesn’t mean you’re getting out of dressing up tomorrow.” His eyes twinkled as he proceeded to strip his lover. “I thoroughly expect to be the first person allowed to get a picture with the elusive AP King.” He snorted at the pseudonym. “King? Seriously?” He laughed.

Arthur gave him a funny expression and proceeded to be intricately involved in the activity after his brain had a few minutes to process the evidence that Merlin was okay with everything. He grinned suddenly and whipped them around so that he was the one on top. “You know you’re the Irishman, right?”

Merlin had the grace to blush, “Y-yeah.”

“And you know what that means?”

“I always get laid by the handsome blokes?” Merlin gave Arthur a cheeky look.

“In many, many interesting ways.” Arthur growled playfully and nipped his neck. “It means I get to demonstrate my words now.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” Merlin gave his arse a swat. “Get on with it before I get bored!”

“I accept that challenge.” Arthur attacked his lips and began to show him exactly how not bored he was going to be for at least a few more hours that night.

Merlin had never been less bored in his life, and Arthur, the damn Prat, was a smug bastard about it the entire time.

Still, it was different that night. Arthur had told him what he’d been hiding for years. Arthur had come a long way and Merlin was proud and flattered to be his inspiration. He wished he had seen it years ago but all they could do was move forward now.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And.:) Thank you all for reading. I enjoyed writing this one but i meant for it to be fluffy and fun. Hope it was!

“Are you ready yet?” Merlin called from the kitchen. He had to admit he was dying of curiosity. The event was in an hour and Arthur promised him he’d be the first to meet AP King that morning. He knew the venue was all set up and everything was prepared and he’d been on the phone with Freya all morning about it.

“Give a bloke a break.” Arthur called, “Corsets aren’t exactly the easiest thing to put on. Neither is makeup.”

Merlin marked those line down under things he thought he’d never hear Arthur say. He was bubbling with anticipation and nearly bouncing on his toes he had no idea what to expect.

Arthur stared at himself in the mirror and brushed on the lipstick. Ugh, he hated doing this so much but it was a necessary evil for now. Until he got out from under Uther, he was an anonymous author. That was just the way of things. He’d texted Morgana to let her know everything was fine and she was proud of him for finally telling Merlin. This was something… else. He rose stiffly and slipped on the shoes. He hated heels. With a sigh he opened his bedroom door and stalked out. “Ready.”

Merlin stared.

He’d never seen anything so hot in his entire life. Arthur was dressed in a sea-blue dress-suit that had a tapered flare at the waist to give him the illusion of hips. The skirt that had a slight slit on one side. He’d shaved his legs and wore heels. The jacket was difficult, it couldn’t really hide his wide shoulders but it was cut properly and he was wearing a brazier and corset. The makeup made his face look softer and his lips fuller. He’d put on mascara that emphasized his eyelashes. And the hair. It was piled up on top of his head in a neat winding braid. A string of pearls finished off the outfit and he shifted slightly. “Well?”

Merlin’s mouth was dry, he cleared his throat. “You’re brilliant.” He breathed out. “Oh god, Arthur…You’re beautiful.”

Arthur scoffed, “You’re just saying that. I feel ridiculous whenever I have to do this.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Merlin sauntered over. “I think I’m in love. What’s your number, miss?”

“ _Mer_ lin!”

“What am I thinking, all the blokes must ask you for your number? How about a date? Dinner, movie? Sex? You and me? Now?”

“MERLIN!”

“Wait I seriously have no idea how to get you out of that getup, sex might be a problem.” Merlin tapped his jaw.

“Merlin!!!”

“I have a feeling you’re about to tell me to shut up.”

“You guessed it.”

“Let’s get your pretty butt to your event then before I forget I’m a gentleman and ravish you here and now.”

Shortly afterwards, Merlin headed out with a confidant grin and AP King on his arm.

***

Merlin leaned against a wall watching Arthur … rather AP King signing books. It was a great turnout to the event and all had gone as planned. Ms King had been properly taken care of with all the little bits and pieces she/he liked and a few that hadn’t been put down on paper but Merlin supplied anyway being privy to Ms King’s tastes.

Freya came up behind him, “I can’t believe it myself.” She gazed at the table. “There’s a gorgeous male specimen under all that makeup.”

“Shush, you.” Merlin smirked.

“Everything’s alright between you two?” Freya asked softly.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Merlin chuckled.

“I bet you’re looking forward to taking all that off later.” Freya gave him a wicked grin.

“Oh shut it.”

“You know I’m right!”

“So what if I am, what do you want a play by play?” Merlin tossed a napkin at her with a chuckle. “Somehow I don’t think Arthur will appreciate that.”

“Oh please he worships the ground you walk on. Anyone can see it! He’s already glared at me at least five times because you’re over here talking to me and not paying attention to him.”

There was a commotion at the doorway and the security guards radioed it in to Merlin’s earpiece. “Mr Emrys, an unexpected celebrity showed up. He’s here with his daughter.”

“Who is it?”

“Uther and Morgana Pendragon, sir. The press is taking pictures. She apparently wishes to get a signature.”

“Delay them somehow, give me five minutes.” Merlin rushed to the signing table and gave a fan an apologetic look. “One moment please. She’ll be right with you.” He whispered the next so only Arthur could hear. “Uther and Morgana are here.”

Arthur coughed and would have looked pale except for the make-up.

“Don’t worry I’ll distract him.” Merlin promised and unconsciously laid a hand on his shoulder.

Arthur couldn’t help but reach up and link their fingers together momentarily. A mistake. This was not missed by the fans in line who looked at Merlin extremely curiously and discussion began to take place amongst them. Arthur quickly snatched his hand away and went back to signing. He nodded at Merlin and trusted him to handle it. His father would never recognize him in this getup, he hoped. He also hoped his sister wouldn’t make a scene.

Merlin did see Uther following Morgana who had Arthur’s latest book tucked under her arm and annoyed expression. “Morgana, lovely to see you. Hello, Mr Pendragon, sir.” He always felt five years old whenever he was in Uther’s presence.

Uther simply stared at him as if attempting to remember his name. Which was ludicrous since he had known Merlin as long as Merlin had known Arthur. “Morgana, please tell me you’re not going to wait in line for this nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense, I love her writing!” Morgana glared at him hotly. When it looked like there was about to be an altercation between them Merlin took control of the situation.

“Sir, we have an open bar in the next room, perhaps I can interest you in a drink while you wait for your daughter?” Merlin offered.  
  
“Hm.” Uther cast a glance up at the table where Arthur was seated and people were lined up. He frowned slightly. “Something familiar about that woman.” He muttered. “You’re the Emrys boy, Arthur’s roommate.”

“Yes Sir. I’m the manager of this event.”

“I see. Morgana, time is money.” Uther gave a surely grunt and allowed Merlin to escort him to the other room.

Morgana eyed Merlin, but smiled his way.

“It’s Saturday, Father.” Morgana snorted and stalked towards the people in the line-up. Fans were already paying very close attention to Merlin Emrys given his close resemblance to the Irishman and the intimate moment that was just shared between him and the author.

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief since Merlin effectively headed his father off at the pass. He wanted to glare but he didn’t want to upset any fans so he had to plaster on a fake smile and be friendly as Gwen had prompted him earlier. His career could get made with this book if he played his cards right.

When Morgana eventually got to his table Arthur glared at her and hissed between his teeth. “What are you doing, Morgana!”

“Trying to give your butt a good kick. Uther’s not a monster. He’s been worried about you for a while now. I had a long talk with him yesterday.” Morgana replied in a similar low tone. She gave him the copy of his book. “I’ve been just dying to meet you!” She gushed in her normal voice.

“I don’t want him to see me like this!” Arthur said furiously. He was having a hard time keeping his voice low. He turned to a guard. “I need a short break.” He gave the fans an apologetic look after he finished signing Morgana’s copy. “I’ll be right back, please do enjoy the refreshments.” He stood and stalked away to find a bathroom. He wished he could wash his face and relax. Morgana KNEW he couldn’t handle things like this why did she go and do that? He hated surprises. He disliked being in a female bathroom too.

There was a slight knock on the door, “Ms King?” It was Merlin of course. Arthur let him in and locked the door behind him. “Are you alright? You’re stressing aren’t you?” Merlin reached over and rubbed the sides of Arthur’s arms. “I’ve taken care of it, he won’t see you.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur asked fretfully.

“Don’t worry.” Merlin reached up and kissed Arthur gently on the lips. “It’ll be fine. I’ve turned down the temperature in the building so you won’t get overheated.”

Arthur sighed and began to breath normally again. “Okay. I’m okay now.” He nodded.

Merlin grinned at him and exited the bathroom. And… they were witnessed. He sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. It was Freya who pointed it out. “You know you’ve got lipstick smeared on your cheek right?” Merlin grunted and wiped it off and Arthur had the grace to look slightly ashamed. Snogging in the girl’s bathroom of all places.

“I knew I recognized those pearls.” Uther Pendragon’s flat voice came from behind them and all three nearly jumped out of their skin. “They are a unique set if you’ll note the subtle blue sheen and the pendant shaped like a star.”

Arthur gripped Merlin’s hand and turned around slowly.

“They belonged to your mother. I gave them to her on our fifth anniversary.” Uther continued. “I have to admit I wondered why Morgana insisted on coming here today.” His gaze swept up and down over Arthur.

“Father… I can explain-..” Arthur began.

“No need.” Uther shook his head, “You’re a success, that’s all that matters.” He looked at Merlin, however as if he wished he would vanish but knew that he wouldn’t so had to deal with his presence somehow. “Take care of my son.” He said firmly. “I expect to see both of you for dinner on Sunday.”

With that, Uther left with Morgana in tow and Arthur sort of stared after him in amazement.

Arthur sank down in the nearest chair. The whole altercation was witnessed by fans. He was no longer anonymous…. and everyone began talking at once.

***

Eventually they made it home and Merlin did his best to handle his exhausted lover. He removed all the clothing and make-up and curled up next to him in bed. Arthur hadn’t spoken much since the conversation with Uther and had simply gone through the evening with yes/no answers. Merlin, Freya and Gwen had all rallied around him to get the press off his back. Fans who remained all got the first signed copies ‘Arthur Pendragon’ and they were now instant collectors’ items. The tabloids were already splashing it across the social pages.

And strangely, Gwen said it didn’t matter. Arthur was a good enough writer that this would just make his books sell even more. She’d already received a few calls from producers. He was rapidly becoming more famous than he already was.

“It’s better this way.” Arthur mumbled as he curled up against Merlin. “It’s better that everyone knows.”

“No it isn’t.” Merlin reached up and brushed his hair back. “You weren’t ready for this.”

“I wasn’t ever ready for it, Merlin.” Arthur admitted softly.

“You have me to help you.” Merlin smiled. “I love every word you’ve written, and I love you.”

“I think I know a way I can calm down.” Arthur mumbled.

“I think I’m reading your mind.”

And so Merlin did his best to ensure that Arthur Pendragon known to the world now as AP King didn’t have to deal with anxiety on his own ever again. He’d found a foolproof method to calm down Ms King and that generally involved a few hours of ensuring that Arthur was focused only on pleasurable things and didn’t have time to worry about anything.

**FIN**

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [My Beloved Idiot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208974) by [Merlocked18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlocked18/pseuds/Merlocked18)




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